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I dearly love my husband, but I can't stand being married. I married the love of my life two months ago. After we were married I moved to live with him, about 45 miles away from "home." I don't see my family nearly as often as I'd like. I kept my job in the town I moved from, and it is an evening shift, which means that I don't really have the opportunity to get involved or meet anyone here.
I feel very abandoned and alone. I'm starting to wonder why I got married? I think I was a whole lot happier before. I don't know if this is a normal feeling or if this is really a problem that I need to get to work on. I can't stand feeling this way and I hope that you have some advice for me.
It's difficult to adjust to marriage, a move and the distance between you and your family. It's normal to experience some reservations and some grief over the changes and loss of relationships you have been used to. Marriage is difficult. Adding these changes makes it more difficult. Many couples go through very difficult situations when they are first married and many get "stronger in the broken places."
How can you make your new life more palatable? What can you do to adjust? Maybe your job and the hours you work is the real issue. You may need to find a new job so that you have more time to build this new marriage and other relationships. No job is worth it if you are unhappy with the rest of your life. You would be better off quitting your job altogether and living on a stricter budget. In ancient days couples took a whole year off together to build their marriage relationship.
In the meantime, make a plan to do something each week-end that you look forward to like seeing your relatives or having some new friends over. Go on special dates with your new husband who you love very much.
~ Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC, is a marriage and family counselor and national certified counselor, author and speaker.
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©2004 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
