Email 
Bookmark 
Print Escaping the Root of Bitterness
Subject: Escaping the Root of Bitterness
Date: July 18, 2001
Related Article:Enemy to Love, Kim Phuc Story
A fine line seems to separate hurt from a deep revengeful sense of bitterness. The difficulty is in knowing when we cross that line. Bitterness is an ugly gripping anger that seeks everything ugly and painful on those individuals who have hurt us. Please join us as we discuss the process of dealing with that pain so bitterness doesn't take root.
What causes bitterness to take root?
-What are the results of bitterness?
-How can we resolve bitterness?
-How do we deal with our own bitterness?
-How do we deal with the bitterness of another person that we are close to?
-What issues may we have to face in dealing with bitterness?
-How do we get on the path to healing and restoration in our lives?
-How does dealing or not dealing with bitterness affect our view of God?
cwt
Let's open in prayer...
cwt
Dear Lord, thank you that you are the light of the world. Thank you that you can
move in our hearts and change us where we need to be changed....Please help us as
we talk about bitterness and its impact on our lives. Amen
Faith
Amen
cwt
So, what causes bitterness to take root?
Faith
Bad situations in life, unforgiveness and feeling like we have been cheated.
cwt
Often I think it is that we think we don't deserve what ever it was that happened to
us...
cwt
That's right. Life isn't fair...
Faith
True. So we tend to fall into self-pity.
cwt
self-pity for a long time can probably lead to bitterness.
Faith
Yes, then we do feel like there has been injustice.
cwt
We tend to look at life pretty bleakly when we get caught in that thinking
Faith
It affects all of our relationships with other people.
cwt
But what if the injustice is legitimate?
Faith
I think we still have to get to the point where we choose to let it go.
cwt
yes. it seems that when we constantly knaw at whatever happened thatcan lead to
bitterness
Faith
We can't really enjoy anything when bitterness takes root.
cwt
why is it that it is mostly women who struggle with this?
cwt
That's true.
Faith
I think as women we do tend to take things much more personally than men do. Our
self-esteem seems more fragile.
cwt
We blame ourselves more too. Like it is our fault that we couldn't "fix" the situation
Faith
Very true.
cwt
or didn't prevent it.
cwt
What are some results of bitterness...
cwt
hatred toward whoever caused the pain
Faith
Anger or even hatred towards another person.
cwt
bitterness passed on to the next generation
Faith
Yes, children do take note of our actions and the way we treat or speak about
others.
cwt
can cause lots of health problems - ulsers...
Faith
You are right there.
cwt
I believe the book is called "Two trees in the Garden" but it talks about the concept
of "sins of the Father's
cwt
passing to the next generation
cwt
How do we deal with bitterness
Faith
I think we should never choose to ignore bitterness because if it isn't dealt with
completely it will come back. Sometimes even worse than before.
cwt
I read a poem by Havergal that was about "Count your gains, not your losses"...I
think that is real important in dealing with bitterness. A different perspective.
Faith
We tend to try and hide bitterness.
cwt
our perspective in these things can get so warped.
cwt
yes. I agree. We think a christian shouldn't have bitterness, so we deny it is there.
very true.
Faith
That is good. So really we should realize that circumstances are not always as
important as what we do with them.
cwt
very good point. We have to bring God into things. When we can get his
perspective on things, our own changes ALOT!
Faith
That is so true, cwt. If we trust God our faith will grow stronger whether or not the
situation improves.
cwt
Also, bitterness tends to think "I have it worse than anyone else". So a fix for
bitterness can be getting involved in someone else's life...and hearing their pain...
Faith
Yes, it is interesting when we hear the stories of others, sometimes our own situation
doesn't seem nearly as bad.
cwt
I think bitterness often doesn't want to yeild the circumstance to God and know that
he is in control of all things...even the bad, horrible things that happen....
Faith
Well, God never promised us that there would not be any trials. But he did promise
to go through them with us.
cwt
We begin to think that God isn't who he says. He isn't GOOD or he wouldn't have
allowed (blank) to happen. ultimately...that is bitterness too. When something didn't
work out as planned....
Faith
We can't begin to know God's plan for our lives.
cwt
There is an excellent book "Hidden Rift with God" that deals with this concept.
cwt
that's right. We only know tha tGod willl be with us no matter what...hard to grasp
when life is painful.
Faith
We have to trust that He knows best and that some of these things are for our own
good. We always learn something from a situation and then we can help others.
cwt
absolutely, Faith. Even when dealing with bitterness, God can use that to grow us, as
well as help others that have the same struggle...
cwt
What issues may we have to face when dealing with bitterness?
Faith
We must face the past or we can't move forward.
cwt
first admit that we are bitter probably.
Faith
Very true. It is important to admit our need for God.
cwt
then try to identify what made us bitter....then face that we were probably
'unforgiving' in a certain way...
cwt
maybe even unforgiving toward God, funny as that may sound...
cwt
dealing with past is very important...!
Faith
When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, He can heal our bitterness.
cwt
Yes. I think it is a place where spiritual breathing can really happen.
Faith
Could you expand?
cwt
well, I think everytime you catch yourself thinking a bitter thought, you have to
breath it out. Ultimately, bitterness is sin
Faith
And un-confessed sin does put a barrier between us and God.
cwt
Then you have to ask the holy Spirit to help you think the right thoughts, breathing in
the Spirit.
cwt
Bitterness, like many other attitudes/conditions, is really a choice...
Faith
So true.
Faith
Many people find it easier to remain bitter instead of asking God to help them
through the problem.
cwt
It can be difficult to begin asking the Holy spirit to reveal where our thoughts are
wrong...but as the healing begins to take place, it is worthit...
cwt
that's right. Bitterness also really limits how much God can use us.
cwt
Faith is required to believe that God is good inspite of life's pain....
Faith
Yes, even if our situation seems hopeless, Jesus can bring healing from bitterness.
cwt
Jesus is really good at bringing beauty from ashes...
cwt
Let's close in prayer...
cwt
Dear Lord, thank you that you are who you say. We can trust you even in our pain.
Help us discover anywhere we are bitter, turn that over to you, and breathe in the
Spirit to heal our hearts. Amen.
Faith
Amen
Faith
Thanks for the session cwt.
cwt
no problem. Thanks for coming today. Have a good one...!
Faith
Well, have a nice afternoon and God Bless.
cwt
same to you. God bless. bye
............................ cubamarsh joined.............
cwt
hi cubamarsh! How are you?
Faith
Hi there Cubamarsh.
cubamarsh
hi, verrrrrrrrrrry hot and humid around Chicagoland
cubamarsh
droughtlike conditions
cwt
was hot in Alberta. But cool today. Good thing. hard for the farmers here. Pretty
much disaster land...
cubamarsh
God gives farmers a LOT of patience
cwt
We were just talking about bitterness....but actually finished early....was there some
comment about bitterness that you wanted to make...?
cubamarsh
I'm working for World Vision at the Women of Faith Conference here in Chicago
this weekend
cwt
cool!
Faith
That is awesome, cubamarsh!
cwt
I think some of Women Today folks are there as well...but not sure...
cubamarsh
last year we had a record number of people sponsor children all over the world at
the Conference; pray for this year!
cwt
let's pray now for a minute...
cwt
Dear Lord. Thanks for your leading in Cubamarsh's life. Bless her and encourage
her at the conference this year Lord. may you name be lifted high...and the needs of
people around the world be met as a result of this conference. Amen
cubamarsh
amen and amen.
Faith
Lord, we pray for the children all over the world who need this ministry. Please
bless this ministry. In Jesus' name, Amen.
cubamarsh
Gotta get the door; blessings and love to you both.
cwt
take good care. Bye!
Faith
God Bless!
............................ cubamarsh left.............
cwt
well, that's all for today then. Have a good one, Faith. God bless
Faith
Well, I guess we should sign off for now. Thanks again.
............................ Faith left.............
cwt
yep. See you...!
