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Subject: Secrets: Closet Issues In Your Life
Date: July 11, 2001
Related article: Secrets: A Healing Journey
Living with secret closet issues can create an inner stifling and fear that indirectly controls much of our behavior. Those hurtful secrets don't have to dominate and destroy your inner being. Please join us as we discuss how victory is possible without slandering your character.
What are the dangers in holding in hurtful secrets?
-What are the reasons people hide closet issues?
-What would be the first step in dealing with an issue that is hurtful?
-How can one help others in dealing with closet issues?
-Where does our source of strength come from in dealing with deep issues?
cwt
Dear Lord, thank you for a new day. Thank you that you know all about us -- and care very deeply for us. Help
& guide us today as we talk about secrets in our lives. Amen.
Faith
Lord, Thank you for this time together. Please guide our discussion and help everyone to become forthcoming
with issues. In Jesus' name, Amen
cwt
As I was thinking about this topic today, I was wondering what kind of secrets people have? Are there sort of
"common" secrets ?
Faith
I think everyone has probably done some things in their life that they would be very embarrassed if others knew
about it.
cwt
yes. And probably usually something that happened when they were younger...
Faith
That is true.
cwt
I'm thinking like "I got arrested when I was a teenager for shop lifting..."
Faith
Even people who have led good lives might be embarrassed or fear the judgement of others for some hidden sins.
Faith
That is too bad. Did you learn something from the experience?
cwt
True. Sometimes sins not even their fault...like date rape
cwt
no. didn't happen to me. I was just thinking about what kind of secrets people would feel they have to hide...
Faith
Oh, I see what you mean.
cwt
and I'm even being honest...not holding a secret...grin
Faith
LOL
cwt
So what other kind of secrets do you think people would hide?
Faith
Well, maybe past relationships or things they shouldn't have done.
cwt
I guess if you use a broad term, you could say "moral" or "sexual" secrets...
cwt
then you could have "addiction" secrets...
cwt
or even "abuse" secrets...
Faith
Yes, I would think someone would definitely hide those kinds of things.
Faith
Addiction is a good one. A lot of people try to cover up that kind of secret.
cwt
So then, the next question is more difficutl to answer...What would be the dangers involved in holding these kinds
of secrets..?
Faith
Un-confessed sins or secrets could cause us to put up barrier with other people.
cwt
first off, I would think "how could recovery ever happen, if you don't admit the problem...?"
Faith
And it causes a barrier between us and God.
cwt
true. I think you'd really put up a mask-- no one could get to know the 'real you'...
Faith
That is so true. We must admit the secret or we can't heal.
Faith
In order to get help we have to admit our need.
cwt
The barrier between God & you would be very hard to over come. It would seem you would doubt God could
ever love you because of (blank)
Faith
That is true. Sometimes we forget that God sees all sin the same way.
cwt
no matter if you choose the sin - or someone did it to you. That seems to be where many struggle
Faith
One sin is not greater than another sin. Sin is sin.
Faith
True. It would be hard to forgive ourselves for some past things.
cwt
all sin places a barrier between us and god...but sometimes the felt guilt is greater say for a sexual sin then for
stealing say
Faith
That is true.
cwt
Besides a barrier between God & others, I think bitterness can really develop when we hide secrets
Faith
The severity of what we have done can weigh more heavily for some things.
cwt
when bitterness develops we can't learn from what happned...nor help anyone else...
Faith
Yes, bitterness can develop.
cwt
Depression too
cwt
yes, some things have huge consequences...like abortion or an affair, ...
Faith
That is the truth.
Faith
No matter what those things do cause hurt for a lot of people.
cwt
yes they do, and I suppose that is why people hide them too...it is just too painful...so what would be the first
steps in dealing with that kind of painful secret?
Faith
Sometimes covering up the sin can lead to more sin. The more we cover up a sin the more insensitive we become
toward it.
cwt
very good point, Faith!
Faith
We can start trying to justify the sin and think it isn't really all that bad.
cwt
We can soon talk ourselves into our out of anything...
cwt
make excuses...
Faith
But someone always does get hurt when there is immoral behavior.
cwt
often even if the secret is kept...
Faith
So true. I really believe you can't move on with anything until you are able to put the past behind you.
cwt
Someone asked me the other day if there were ever a time you ought to keep a secret like this...what do you
think?
Faith
Maybe in some circumstances some things could be better left unsaid.
Faith
But there is something that says be sure your sins will find you out and they always do.
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cwt
That would take a great deal of discernment on the part of the person with the secret...
Faith
Hi cubamarsh!
cwt
Hi cubamarsh. We are just talking about secrets in our lives
cubamarsh
hi!
Faith
I agree cwt.
cwt
I think most painful secrets are better revealed -- at least for sure to a counsellor, if not our loved ones.
Faith
That is true.
cwt
What do you think most people would struggle with if they choose to reveal some secret they have held for
years...? What kind of feelings?
Faith
I know some people in my family kept many secrets that actually should have been revealed.
cwt
What happened when they were discovered?
Faith
I did feel very betrayed by all the secrecy and it wasn't a good thing .
cwt
Did it hurt more to know what had happened...or more to not know?
Faith
Well, they finally had to tell me the truth and then I was bitter for many years.
Faith
It hurt more to know they had been very dishonest even if they did think it was for my own good.
cwt
that's hard...how did you get over your bitterness?
Faith
I placed my trust in Jesus and has healed my heart.
cwt
that's neat, Faith. I'm glad...
Faith
But I did deal with the past because I don't think anyone can move on until they do.
cubamarsh
sometimes I wonder if it is always better to speak the truth even if it will hurt a LOT of people
cwt
You are right. It would be like driving a car using only the rearview mirror
Faith
In this particular instance, the truth should have been revealed long before it was.
cwt
I think timing is probably important...as well as who you are telling the truth to...
Faith
If it had been it would have saved many people a lot of heartache.
cwt
seems to me that there ought to be a level of trust in close relationships so we can feel safe to tell our secrets
cubamarsh
what if the truth only hurts the person it's been told to and no one else would be hurt not knowing
Faith
But as we said, people hide things because they are ashamed and embarrassed.
cubamarsh
true
cwt
good question cubamarsh.
cubamarsh
I know my mother told me things that she thought my brothers "couldn't handle"
cwt
I think telling the truth of a secret should be told to only those it involves.
Faith
I agree.
cwt
hm..what would be your answer to your own question cubamarsh?
cubamarsh
I felt "used" in a way because it hurt me sooo much; she didn't have the same respect for my feelings that she did
for my brothers who "couldn't handle" it like me;
cwt
ah. I see. You felt like she just had to get it off her chest...
Faith
That would be tough. As parents, it isn't fair of us to think one child is stronger than another.
Faith
It puts too much pressure on a person.
cubamarsh
of course, my mother always thought women had to bear things that men couldn't/shouldn't; very codependent
cwt
Yes. I think parents have to be very careful if they are going to reveal some secret to their children...
cubamarsh
a LOT of pressure, you're right Faith
cwt
It would leave you with a secret....
cwt
that would be tough!
cubamarsh
yes, which I would have rather NOT known
cwt
It sounds like it is painful for you
cubamarsh
very
Faith
So in your case, it would have been far better if the secret had not been revealed.
cubamarsh
I have bitterness about a lot of things that my mother (mentally ill; untreated) chose to expect of me and not my
brothers
Faith
Are you the oldest in your family?
cubamarsh
the secret "explained" a lot of behaviors, but I was angry and sad that nothing was ever done or said
cwt
that sounds very difficult cubamarsh. How many inyour family ?
cubamarsh
I'm the middle child; mediator; keep everyone happy child
cubamarsh
I have one older and one younger brother
cwt
yes. That's right. Birth order. Middle child often plays that role...
Faith
The peacemaker.
cwt
Have you ever thought of getting some counsel over the situation?
cubamarsh
I read Kevin Leman's book on birth order and it made a LOT of sense
Faith
As a middle child of an opposite sex your mom probably did expect more out of you. You probably do have a lot
of first born traits being the first born girl.
cwt
yes. for me too. I'm sort of a middle child...
cubamarsh
Yes, I've had a lot of counseling. I AM a Substance Abuse Counselor myself. I was a Spec. Ed. school teacher
for many yrs. too
cwt
Did your mom telling the secret help her any?
cubamarsh
Yes, I was the family "hero" brought a kind of respect to a covertly chaotic family
cwt
but you bear some bruises and lots of pain in that role...yes?
cubamarsh
My mother has untreated Bipolar Disorder and she lives in her own world. My father was alcoholic, but I always
knew he loved me.
cwt
can you explain bipolar?
Faith
I am sorry cubamarsh.
cubamarsh
Manic Depression
cwt
ah...! that is hard. Can we pray for you?
cubamarsh
it runs in my family AND my husband's, believe it or not
cubamarsh
yes, prayer always helps
cwt
Lord Jesus, thank you for your love of cubamarsh and her family. I pray that you will continue to heal her heart.
Help her, guide her and bless her Lord for the peacemaking role she has played in her family. Please give peace
to her own heart
Faith
Lord, please strengthen cubamarsh and offer her comfort. You alone know what is needed. In Jesus' name, Amen
cwt
You must deal with many secrets in your role as substance abuse counselling...
cubamarsh
Amen and thank you. I have learned in many painful ways not to put my "faith in men" but God is always the same
and loves me just as I am; He is always with me.
cwt
amen to that!
Faith
That is the truth. People will always disappoint us. God never will.
cwt
So...how can we help others in dealing with these types of secrets?
cubamarsh
In a way, I have have developed great empathy (as well as needed detachment) for the worst of hurts, addictions,
etc. This world is NOT our home and we must help eachother.
Faith
I think we need to maintain an attitude of non-judgment. Love the person hate the sin.
cwt
I bet you have great empathy that really assist in your work
cwt
good point faith.
cubamarsh
there is so much guilt (real or imagined) in secrets; the guilt must be confessed and dealt with from a Christian
perspective of God's freedom
cwt
yes. real freedom can only be found through finding God and His love.
Faith
That is true. Admit the sin to God and trust in him. Confession opens the door to forgiveness.
cubamarsh
sometimes we "rate" sins and to God, sin is sin
cwt
The Holy Spirit has to be really involved in both convicting us of the sin, and helping us deal with revealing the
secret...
Faith
Then live to please the Lord.
cubamarsh
I think a lot of our problems stem from anger turned inward; unexpressed in the right ways, then turning to
depression
cwt
Turning to the Word and to prayer is a place to start with both the sin and the healing...
cwt
yes. cubamarsh. I agree. Often that anger is even directed at God and thinking that He isn't who He says he is...
cubamarsh
I know the issue of TRUST is a big one growing up as I have; I'm very careful about whom I trust
Faith
The Holy Spirit does convict us of our sin. God's spirit lives in us and we will have victory through the Holy Spirit.
Faith
I have trouble with that too, cubamarsh.
cwt
The Spirit would have to be really involved in all of this...
cubamarsh
I know I want to "rush" God to get me out of bad feelings, but they are there to teach me.........
cubamarsh
I have a lot more patience with others than myself
cwt
that's so true. We often have more trouble with our own feelings and pain -- or even forgiving ourselves...
Faith
But we need to ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
cubamarsh
definitely
cwt
I think that is where we have to pray for the Spirit to help us...
cwt
Have you heard of spiritual breathing?
cubamarsh
yes, can you review it?
Faith
Yes.
cwt
It is like natural breathing...you exhale those bad feelings, thoughts or attitudes...
cwt
and you inhale the Spirit, asking his help to live life walking in the Spirit with the right attitudes and feelings.
cwt
It is like a constant breathing out what is wrong, and breathing in what is right.
cubamarsh
I will practice it.
Faith
So will I.
cubamarsh
The Spirit IS the breath of true "life."
cwt
In the spiritual life, so much of this is a choice I find. We have to choose to think right thoughts about God and
what he allows into our lives...even the painful things...
Faith
His spirit dwells within us and fills us with His love.
cubamarsh
free will; free choice
cwt
that really can happen as we allow our lives to be influenced by the Word & the Spirit.
cwt
I'm so thankful that God left the Holy Spirit to continue his work here on earth and in ourlives...
Faith
It sure can happen and does.
cubamarsh
He said He would never leave us..........
cwt
what would we do without Him?
cwt
He even prays for us in our pain. That is a marvelous thing!
cubamarsh
He is faithful.
cwt
amen and amen1
Faith
When Jesus comes into a life, He changes everything.
cwt
Yes. Even our painful secrets & our bitterness -- beauty for ashes! Incredible!
cubamarsh
yes, and I think that Satan does "overtime" on Christians!
cwt
I agree cubamarsh. Satan is involved in much of this. Anytime he can keep us from trusting God -- or knowing
God's love and acceptance of us..he will!
cubamarsh
we need to be "wise as serpents, gentle as doves" in this world
Faith
From the Holy Spirit, God's strength is our source of strength. His power will never diminish and we can call on
him to renew our strength.
cwt
That is where the real strength is...
Faith
That is the truth. And the enemy always seems to attack after we have done something good for God.
cwt
sometimes it take a while to discover it...
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cubamarsh
trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding; in all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct
you path.
cwt
hi uel...welcome. We are just finishing a chat on secrets....join in...
Faith
So true. When this happened before I didn't recognize what was happening. Now I do.
Uel
hi everybody
Faith
Hi Uel!
cwt
Yes. We do have to cling hard in issues in our lives...
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cubamarsh
Hi!
cwt
hi rainbow...
Uel
oh I missed it shucks
Faith
Hi rainbow!
cubamarsh
Hi rainbow! Great name!
rainbow
Hi everyone!
cwt
We are just about finished a chat on secrets....welcome....
cwt
it was an excellent chat ladies...hey...you can continue this on the forum...did you know?
rainbow
I'm sorry I thought it was for 2
cwt
That time change gets everyone....even caught me a couple of times...
Faith
I think the time is wrong on there. It should be 1:00 eastern time.
rainbow
Oh I see
cwt
really faith? I didn't notice...
Faith
11:00 mountain time and 10:00 pacific time.
Uel
yeah i thought it was 1 my time
rainbow
I'm from Pennsylvania
cwt
ok. I'll pass it on to the "powers" that be...grin...sorry about that ladies....
Uel
i'm central time
Uel
well guess i'll see ya next time bye everybody
cwt
I'm in Alberta - and I still haven't figured out what time zone I'm in...new here...
Faith
Newfoundland would be the 2:00 time zone. Central 1:00
cwt
you can check out the archieves to review this and other chat sessions...
Faith
Alberta is mountain time.
cwt
LOL!
Uel
it is 105 central time here
rainbow
Next time I'll come on earlier
Faith
Atlantic time would be 2:00
cwt
I'll figure it out one of these days...Hey, lets close in prayer before you all run off
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Faith
Newfoundland 2:30 I had that wrong before.
cwt
Dear Lord, thank you for this chat. Bless all who have joined us today...thank you for being able to do this. Help
us lean on you when dealing with painful secrets in our lives or in others. Help us cry out to the Spriit for mercy
and grace. Amen.
cwt
feel free to keep chatting.
Faith
Amen
cubamarsh
amen
Faith
Thank you for the session cwt.
cwt
thank YOU! it was very good.
rainbow
I Bye everyone.
cwt
Do remember to check out the forum. You can continue conversations there 24/7
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Faith
Actually the daytime sessions are: 10:00 pacific, 11:00 mountain, 12:00 central, 1:00 eastern, 2:00 Atlantic and
2:30 Newfoundland.
cwt
there is a message on this topic "secrets" posted there. Feel free to comment.
cwt
Faith, pass that change on to Karing will you?
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Reese
Shalom all
cwt
Hi Reese. We are just finished a session on secrets...where do you hail from?
Faith
I sure will. It is hard to keep them all straight unless I really think about it and write them down!
cwt
me too.
Reese
Hail from?
Reese
Part of the country?
cwt
yes...where are you from...I'm in Alberta...
Faith
This has been wonderful ladies but I must go now. God Bless!
Reese
I am in Kansas, USA
cwt
Thanks again FAith. Take care.
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Reese
Hello and bye Faith
cwt
Is this your first time here?
Reese
No
Reese
I have been before, but sometimes when I come here there is no one there!
cwt
Sorry you missed the chat. It was a very good one. The time changes make it difficult
cwt
Yes. the room is always open, but there are actual scheduled chats.
Reese
That is okay. Sometimes I just come to chat with other women who are lonely and need other women to talk to
Reese
Believe it or not,
cwt
yes. That is good. me too. Amazing who comes in here.
cwt
oh. I believe it!
Reese
I came on one day this week, and spoke with a gentleman from Romania I think
cwt
lots of lonely women out there...
cwt
that's neat!
cwt
We had one from Iran the other day, a lady
Reese
I told him that as long as he was a believer I felt it was okay for him to be here.
Reese
But, I was not really sure how that worked on this site
cwt
We've had the occasional man here. not in chat as far as I know tho.
cwt
most topics wouldn't be suited to men...
Reese
I think women are very lonely today because there is too much going on in their lives. You are right about the
topics for men!
Reese
And,
cwt
yes. I know.
cwt
and?
Reese
because there is so much going on,
Reese
they have less time to talk it out with other women who would be good mentors for them
cwt
you are right. One of the reasons womentoday has deveoped a forum. Have you been there?
Reese
and able to hellp them sound out the stresses they are dealing with
cwt
opps developed...
Reese
No I haven't yet
cwt
It is our hope that the forum will allow women to express their need for help and mentoring. At least that is my
personal hope.
Reese
So how do I find this forum and participate if I decide to
cwt
The forum hasn't been around long - and is attached to the WomenToday site. But everyone is welcome to
participate. There are a couple of good questions on it right now...
Reese
So I need to scroll down to see it then?
cwt
on the Christian Woman Today site...
cwt
no, just a sec. I got a crying child....
Reese
okay, no problem
Reese
Hope it is okay
Reese
with your child
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Reese
Hello again
cwt
sorry. I kicked myself out...
Reese
Everything okay now?
cwt
hard to hold a cryingkid on yourlap and type
cwt
ok now...
Reese
That is true
Reese
How old is your child?
cwt
Anyway. If you go to the Women Today Magazine site and look for the forum, you'll find it
Reese
I will check that out later on. Thank you.
cwt
my littlest one is 4. I have a 10 and 8 year old too
Reese
My sons are grown, but I have 4 grandkids now
cwt
the forum is attached to the evangelistic site..so we have all kinds of ladies there...
Reese
They are 4,5,8 & 8
cwt
that's neat...
Reese
That is good to know.
Reese
I am young at heart, even though I am a grandmother, and
cwt
I would really welcome participation at the forum. It will be a great place as it grows. It is pretty new.
Reese
I have a heart for young people everywhere
cwt
Grandmothering is neat. Have you read that book something about "Spiritual grandparenting..."
Reese
The forum would be wonderful in everyway. No, I haven
Reese
haven't sorry
Reese
But, I will look for it
Reese
and see what I can learn from it
Reese
Even at my age,
Reese
there is too much going on many times
cwt
sorry I can't remember the exact title just now. but it is the concept of the responsibilities of grandparenting...not
many have that in their lives.
cwt
grandparents, I mean.
Reese
My grandchildren are very important to me.
Reese
I had wonderful grandparents.
Reese
and I love them very much
Reese
Two of them are biological and two are stepgrandkids
cwt
They sound like they are very lucky to have a grandparent like you. We just moved so our children can be closer
to that spiritual influence of grandparents. Very important I think...
Reese
But, I love them all. Yes, it is.
Reese
There is something special about the relationship between grandparents and grandkids
cwt
well, God bless you Resse for yourlove. Glad to have your participation here. I won't tell you how old I am...but
not old enough to be a grandparent...not anywhere near...
cwt
LOL!
Reese
It is wonderful that you felt it important enough to move closer for the reason you stated
cwt
yes. It was hard to move...but very worth it. My folks are now about 45 mins away. It is good
Reese
Age does not matter to me. I believe each has its own to offer
cwt
I for one am glad for the mentoring available through those that have experienced more of life & God.
Reese
It must be comforting to your parents that you are close like you are now
cwt
yes. They are delighted, as we all are.
Reese
That's great. The Word of God talks about the Older women teaching the younger ones, but that seems to have
gone to the wayside
Reese
some of the time
Reese
I have so much to share with young women because of the life I have had to live in my younger years.
cwt
Yes. I firmly believe inthat. It is my hope in my own move, that I would find a mentor. The grandparenting book I
mentioned also speaks of this...
Reese
It was hard, but God was always there to encourage me
Reese
Do you remember who the author is?
cwt
kids need grandparents to pass on the spiritual heritage...of how God moves and works.
Reese
That is so true.
cwt
My mom is reading it...I can't remember the title or author...let me think for a sec...
Reese
ok
cwt
I'm drawing a blank...but I don't think there are too many books on grandparenting out there....it was a familiar
author if I remember right... rats...
Reese
Is it brand new maybe?
Reese
How about if I give you my private e=mail address and you can send it to me there when you do remember it?
cwt
If you check at your Christian book store...if you email me at moderator@womentodaymagazine.com I can get
you the right title...
cwt
I moderate the forum...grin
cwt
you can give me your email if you wish...
Reese
Seems you have more than one ministry, but Praise God for it!
Reese
Okay, Twofouroneus@yahoo.com
Reese
That is the one I use to help others pray etc.
Reese
Another Christian chat site I go to has helped me pray with teenage girls who are hurting from abuse
Reese
They come looking for answers, talk with others their age, and find help
Reese
I have a room there I call Encouragers4Christ
Reese
When I go there I am able to listen, pray and offer help if they listen
............................ Melody joined.............
Reese
Most ot them know Jesus. Hello Melody
Melody
Type HEREHi - I'm kinda late
Melody
Hi Reese
Melody
Hi Cubamarsh
Reese
Late for what, being here?
Melody
Hi cwt
Melody
Yes
Reese
Hi Cubamarsh
Reese
Late in God's timing may not be late at all!
Melody
Not sure how long I can stay - my "help" went home and I have kids running wild!
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Reese
Been there and done that
Melody
Get a t shirt?
Reese
How many kids
Reese
?
Melody
2 - boy 10, friend 10, baby 2 dtr
Melody
I'm surprised there aren't more people here for this
Reese
There were earlier, but I also missed out
Melody
I kept something from my husband early in our marriage and it really tore me up
Reese
cwt and I have been visiting
Reese
Have you been able to come clean
Melody
I had give several thousand dollars to some guys who were starting a cleaning business thinking that I would cash
in and surprise my hub
Melody
They ran with the cash and it took me two years to tell him
Melody
He was so forgiving - it made me feel even worse
Reese
PTL!
Melody
But it was hard to hide that from him
Melody
I have tried to always be forthcoming ever since
Melody
We've been married 22 years
Reese
God does not ever want us to hide anything, because it does not glorify Him!
Reese
I have been married going on 31 years
Melody
I agree - as if we could hide anything from Him!
Melody
Congrats!
Reese
I also hid things, because life was hard back when.
Reese
but,
Reese
I don't anymore
Reese
And we get along well together.
Reese
now
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Reese
Thanks
Reese
Hey cwt, get kicked off again?
cwt
good grief. Sorry. My crazy computer
cwt
hi melody...
Reese
Mine has been acting up today also
Melody
Satan hitting the hard drive again?
cwt
I can't believe it...sometimes I think so Melody...LOL
Reese
Could be
Reese
had not thought of that
Melody
There was a funny joke about that -
cwt
I think I timed out...
Reese
I may have heard it if it is the one I am thinking of
cwt
and my computer shut down and the whole works. I had to reboot...
Melody
Better talk!
cwt
ok. Tell me the joke before I leave for realllllll
Melody
It's kinda long
Reese
Its a good one if it is the one I remember
cwt
ok...I'm listening.....
Reese
Is it about the contest between S. and J?
Melody
The gist is that Jesus and Sata have a contest
Reese
yep for sure
Melody
to see who is better on the computer
cwt
this I gotta hear...
Reese
it is great!
Melody
They spend several hours making charts, faxing etc
Melody
Then, about five hours into it
Melody
There's a bolt of lightning and the computers go down
cwt
LOL
Melody
When the electricity comes back on, Satan is cursing in the background
Reese
continue
Melody
But Jesus just reboots and starts printing out all his work
cwt
I have a good imagination...
Reese
go on Melody
Melody
Satan starts yelling at God calling Jesus a cheater and all other things
cwt
keep going..
Melody
Satan says - "No fair, how come he didn't lose all his work?"
Reese
Get ready now
Melody
God just shrugs and says, "Well.....
Melody
"Jesus Saves"
Reese
Great huh?
Melody
Groan!
Reese
What do you think?
cwt
oh boy....that is a great one. I'm laughing pretty hard...
Melody
O love that joke
Reese
I first heard it when my husband was going to Christian college in his bulletin
cwt
We used to have a Jesus saves sign in front of our house for years...now I'll remember it with an extra grin...
Reese
Loved it then, love it now too
Melody
A sense of humor is omportant in this ol life, isn't it
Reese
You betcha!
Reese
so, where are u from Melody?
cwt
Well, I sure think God laughs... Besides that...he made the computer in the first place...pretty neat...
Reese
I am in Kansas, USA
Melody
It must be nice to have a husband who is a devoted Christina
Melody
I'm in Kansas City MO
Melody
How about that
Reese
He is
Reese
Great!
cwt
Well, I
Reese
yes?
Reese
am in Heaven? Just joking!
Melody
My husband is a wonderful man but has some issues with my faith
cwt
opps. I'll let you two hobnob...I got to go feed some hungry kidss...I'm going for real now. you two do join us
again, and don't for get to check out the forum at Women Today magazine...
Melody
THanks cwt
cwt
have a good one...
Reese
Okay, Blessings to you and yours!
Melody
Reese - where in KS are you?
Reese
I am in Manhattan
Reese
Not too far from Topeka
Melody
Ah KU territory?
............................ cwt left.............
Reese
Yes, but not born and raised here.
Melody
Where?
Reese
Alabama
Reese
My grandson is here with me
Melody
I was born in Illinois and grew up in Colorado - hub and I lived in Texas for 17 years
Reese
and I may have to stop from time to time
Melody
Thats ok
Melody
I understand
Melody
How old is he?
Reese
8
Reese
years
Melody
High maintenance?
Reese
How old are yours?
Melody
Son 10, dtr 2
Melody
Son has a friend over today - she's 10 also
Reese
High maintenance???
Melody
They are playing trains around me with the baby
Melody
Yes - my son is very high maintenance
Reese
Hope not electric for the moment!
Melody
I spoiled him and am paying for it now
Melody
Brio wooden trains
Reese
It's never too late to change while u can!
Reese
Okay, good choice
Melody
Too expensive
Reese
Is it noisy?
Melody
Thank God for grandparents!
Melody
Somewhat
Reese
I agree.
Reese
I love my grandkis
Melody
But I'm very practised at tuning out!
Melody
Freudian slip?
Reese
That can be good at times, but you must keep a close ear, because
Melody
I kiss on the baby a lot - and my son is still a cuddler - I'm so glad!
Reese
kids can do anything when we are not looking
Melody
That's for sure!
Melody
He's usually pretty good as long as he doesn't have access to the kitchen!
Melody
The concoctions he can come up with!!!!!!
Reese
You said your husband has issues with your faith.
Reese
In what way?
Melody
I'm "too religious"
Melody
The funny thing is, I converted to his faith
Reese
Sound like wonderful kids! What do you call too religious?
Reese
And what is his faith?
Melody
Who knows. He also used to say I "read too much"It took twenty years but I wanted to worship with my family
Melody
He's Catholic
Reese
I am a Messianic Jew myself
Melody
We're Catholic
Melody
Not so far off!
Reese
Right on!
Melody
My brother in law is Orthodox
Melody
JEw
Melody
He claims......
Reese
I was raised secular and that was not a good thing
Melody
Haven't seen much evidence of his faith
Melody
Well - if you are happy in your faith now, that is important
Reese
but, I did find Jesus when I was 17 and came to faith at 19
Melody
Was that hard on your parents?
Reese
At first, but they came to accept it even though they did not believe
Reese
My dad is deceased now since '96
Melody
It's very hard to change faith as an adult
Melody
Sorry
Melody
Mine too - since 79
Reese
Yes it is. Thank you and ditto to you too
Melody
He died a month before my wedding
Reese
That had to be even harder.
Melody
I think it was a statement
Melody
LOL
Reese
How?
Melody
No - he had pancreatic cancer and it was a blessing that he died
Reese
:)
Melody
Not much suffering
Melody
Only a few months
Reese
That's good!
Melody
For cancer that's pretty good
Reese
That's excellent considering
Melody
Your dad?
Reese
He was born with a hole in his heart, but had surgery to repair it late in life. He was undergoing surgery and the
doctors
Reese
expected him to make it, but he did not after the surgery
Reese
It surprised us.
Reese
But we made it through
Reese
My mom is all alone now but it is her decision
Reese
It saddens me much
Melody
I don't think I would get married again
Melody
I adore my hub
Reese
because I would love to have a relationship with her while she is still alive
Reese
Me either
Melody
Can't imagine training someone else to live with me
Reese
I love my husband much too
Melody
You and mom don't get along?
Reese
I relate to that Melody!
Reese
Well, she is very self-centered and materialistic
Reese
and that makes it hard.
Melody
Are we twins?????? LOL 'Do you like your hub's family?
Reese
She only thinks of herself most of the time!
Reese
Yes, I do!
Melody
Is she in her 70's or 80's?
Reese
Just 70
Reese
And urs?
Melody
I ask because it seems like lots of women in that age group are self-absorbed
Melody
Mine is 74
Melody
I wonder if it had to do with their upbringing
Reese
Well, other than my Christian friends, I don't know too many
Reese
I know in my Mom's case it did
Melody
My mom too
Reese
My Uncle died in WWII
Reese
and when that happened
Melody
Maybe we just have to pray that God will show them their way
Reese
all they had left was my Mom so they spoiled her!
Melody
Sorry - didn't mean to interrupt
Reese
That's okay
Melody
My uncle was the spoiled one
Reese
I agree with you.
Melody
Mom got left out of alot
Reese
But I still feel sad for her
Reese
and me at times
Melody
I think she waves the flag to get attention - acts like a spoiled child herself
Reese
So it was different somewhat for lyours
Melody
It is hard
Reese
yours
Melody
I wonder if our kids feel this way about us?>
Reese
Let's agree to pray for each others Mom.
Reese
and,
Melody
Agreed
Reese
Maybe that way, we can be more objective in our prayers.
Melody
And each other
Melody
!!!!
Melody
good thought
Reese
My mom's first name is Sylvia. Agreed
Melody
Her name is MAry
Melody
Sylvia is now on my prayer list!
Reese
Great Melody. We can do it right her for now if you want. Mary is now on mine!
Reese
here
Reese
Do you want to pray here online?
Melody
Lord, hold these women in the palm of your hand
Reese
Yes Lord,
Melody
Open their eyes to your generous and gracious love
Reese
and help them know that as their daughters we love them, but not more than you do
Melody
Teach them to love themselves and others with the same unconditional love that you love us
Reese
Help know who you are and can be in their lives
Melody
and help us to love them in spite of our difficulties
Reese
Yes, yes, Lord
Reese
We admit that we are sinners, but saved by your grace
Melody
and to be patient with their shortcomings
Reese
Help our mothers to come to that in faith
Melody
and with ours
Melody
give them peace
Reese
Lord, onlly you know them as only you can. Meet them where they are.
Melody
and understanding that will show them your kind of contentment
Reese
Help them know that your love is like no other they have ever known!
Melody
Open our eyes to be better daughters
Melody
and mothers
Reese
and friends to them if possible
Melody
and grandmothers
Reese
yes, Lord
Melody
Yes Lord
Reese
Lord, we humble ourselves before you
Melody
Help us to love our children in a teaching way but not a con=descending way
Reese
We know that without you there is no hope or life without Jesus Christ
Melody
Amen
Reese
Lord, whatever is in our own lives that does not glorify you, show us
Reese
and help us be the overcomers you have called us to be
Reese
May the words of our mouths
Reese
and the meditations of our hearts
Reese
be acceptable in your sight O Lord,
Reese
Our strength and our redeemer. Amen
Melody
Do you think it would be disrespectful to pray for better typing skillsAMen
Reese
No, I don't think so. God always understands!
Melody
Thanks - that was nicew
Melody
noice
Melody
nice
Melody
LOL
Reese
Sometimes too fast causes that.
Melody
Sometimes!
Reese
I agree. Thank u so much Melody! This has been so helpful for me today!
Reese
Even among friends, sometimes I still feel alone.
Reese
It is just probably my age. I just turned 50
Melody
I feel the same
Reese
on the 30th of June
Melody
Always have
Melody
Happy birthday
Reese
Praise God for sisters like you in Christ
Melody
I used to be in the public eye
Reese
How?
Melody
on tv - in the community
Melody
lots of charity events
Melody
anyway - I felt very alone
Melody
because you never know whether people just like you for the "celebrity"
Reese
Was that before you knew Jesus?
Melody
or because of who you are
Melody
No
Melody
I've always been His
Reese
I understand. My Dad had my sis and i in front of people because he was a Barbershopper and in the amateur
theater
Melody
But remember, God made Eve for Adam - Adam was perfect and had God, but he was still lonely
Reese
and we were also in the public eye.
Reese
I agree.
Melody
So God made us for each other
Melody
brothers and sisters
Melody
but it's hard to find love
Reese
I think that when you and your husband become one spiritually, you will see a difference
Melody
without all the attached baggage
Reese
I understand.
Melody
Oh - it doesn't worry me all that much
Melody
He is a good man and treats me very well
Melody
Great father
Reese
I went through years of Chrisitan Counseling which helped me a lot!
Melody
Lives Bible principles, just doesn't talk about it
Reese
I prayed, read books
Reese
He sounds like the quiet type like my husband.
Reese
I have always been a people person. but
Reese
used to be very shy.
Reese
When we are young,
Reese
and living our lives as husband and wife with children
Reese
that takes up a lot of our time and energy
Melody
yes?
Melody
Ohg yes
Reese
you and he, must find time away together, even just for a cup of coffee or something
Reese
so you can talk, share etc .
Melody
I tell him this but he wants to spend all his free time with the kids
Reese
Take an hour, or a couple of hrs.
Reese
Pray and ask God to arrange it for you
Melody
Plus we are very wary of babysitters - our son was abused
Reese
He will
Reese
I can understand that. No grandparent nearby?
Melody
My mom lives near us but she can't handle it alone
Melody
She comes over and I can take a shower or something
Reese
I can also understand her side to that.
Melody
That's about it
Reese
Melody, I will pray right now for this situation. Okay?
Reese
Lord Jesus,
Reese
Melody is a lonely person who loves her husband very much!
Reese
She desires to have time with him even just for an hour or so if possible.
Reese
Lord, You love them both and the children
Melody
Yes Lord
Reese
but Lord,
Reese
there is not a good balance in relationship between the two
Reese
Bring your Perfect Balance
Reese
and help them become one as husband and wife,
Reese
the way you choose
Reese
not us
Reese
Lord, whatever it is that is preventing this,
Reese
make it known to Melody
Reese
so that she can
Reese
lift it up to you
Reese
whenever it comes to her mind
Reese
no matter what is going on
Reese
moment, grandson
Reese
Lord, Melody wants a right relationship in every way
Reese
both with you, her husband,
Reese
and their children
Reese
as well as others
Reese
Lord, please give her wisdom and peace in this situation.
Reese
As only You can do!
Reese
We trust you with this problem Lord.
Melody
Thank you Lord. Amen. Reese, you are very good at assessing situations and calling them to prayer. Are you a
Christian counselor?
Reese
Thank you for the man her husband is now
Reese
and will become in you. Amen.
Reese
No, but I wish sometimes I was.
Reese
What I am is a called Prayer Warrior
Melody
?
Melody
Goota go - sorry. Need to see my kids.
............................ Melody left.............
Reese
I pray for others as the Holy Spirit gives me utterance to do
Reese
Bye Melody, Sorry to see you go. Blessings!
