Bringing Peace to Sibling Rivalry

...we join the conversation that has already started...

cwt Is this your first time in Chat nutty?
cwt With sibling rivalry...is it possible to raise a family without this problem?
cwt I know my kids fight quite a lot. 2 of them are very different personalities
nutty this is my first time on.
cwt but I think rivalry is a different sort of thing than fighting
cwt That's great nutty
cwt What we do here, is we talk about a topic for an hour or so - then chat away. The room is always open, but there are scheduled chats
cwt How did you find us?
cwt How would you see the difference between children fighting and "rivalry"?
nutty Just browsing and came onthis site for women
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cwt cool!
cwt Hi Lil and ssargent
cwt We are just talking about sibling rivalry
Shey Hi Lil and ssargent
Lil GB
ssargent Type HEREhello
cwt Do you think there is a differenct between children fighting and rivalry?
Lil God Bless All
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Lil hi ladybug
cwt hi ladybug. We are just talking about sibling rivalry...
ssargent I'll check back for a different topic bye
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cwt so do any of you have sibling rivalry in your homes? How do you cope?
Shey I think fighting is just that fighting but rivalry is more compitition for attention
Lil I think it's normal for sibling rivalry
cwt good point shey
cwt Why do you think it is normal Lil? do you think all homes have that?
Lil I have not children but, I do have nephews and nieces, Twin nieces.
cwt cute
Lil In some level they do.
cwt I would tend to agree. But nevertheless, it does cause tensions inthe home...
Shey my kids often all want to have my attention. I try and give them differnt times of the day that are just theirs
cwt good idea shey. I try that too...but I have one that still wants more attention...he never seems to be "full"
Lil there you go, all children want the attention of their parents especially from the mother, who is in the home all day.
cwt yes.... :-)
Lil how many children do you have?
cwt I have 3
cwt Are there dynamics that increase or lend themselves to sibling rivalry?
Lil We in my household are three also, may fight when younger was with my younger(baby) brother.
cwt yes...I remember some of that in my home growing up also...
Lil My sister and I got along very well, since she is the middle child and I am the older one.
cwt do you think "birth order" can cause sibling rivarly?
Lil My sister lives in CT. and as we got older my brother and I are of best of friends.
Lil No birth order has nothing to do with it, is just some kids need more than others from their parents.
cwt yes, I think as adults, we look at things differently. Someone said as a child our problems are strengths out of balance.
cwt that's true Lil.
cwt Sometimes the child who is more headstrong or strong willed has amore difficult time....he compares himself to the easy going child who isn't in trouble as much...
Shey I think your right
Lil All I can said is have patience and ask God for lots, and lots of wisdom.
cwt If you have a child who never has enough of your attention...what do you do?
cwt amen to that Lil
Shey I'm not sure
cwt I've heard the concept of filling their "emotional tank"...the idea of finding what it is that makes them feel special and loved
Lil My mother is a very strong woman of God, she is a praying woman, I always see her on her knees praying. In our family we can count on her for prayer.
cwt prayer is so powerful Lil. I think you are right that it holds a great key to issues in our families
Lil Oh, that is the true, the Bible says put everything in prayer.
cwt yes. that is right. Pray with out ceasing
Lil The problem we have is that we want it NOW, at this MOMENT. So we want to help along God.
cwt What are some biblical principles that we can teach our children to resolve this problem
cwt ?
cwt Interesting point Lil.
Lil Have they been taught to Honor thy father and mother.
cwt yes. That's a good one. Also the golden rule "do unto others as you would have them do unto you..."
Lil Teaching our children the Love of God for us and telling and showing them that in the Bible it says to Love one other.
cwt I think I Cor 13 that teaches about what true love is...would be a real key...
Lil yes
cwt I think we also need to teach them that they are accepted and loved by God - and by us as parents no matter what.
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cwt hi julie. We are just finishing up a chat on sibling rivalry
Lil yes, that is correct, always tell your children that you love them no matter what, and that there is a great love for all and that one is from God our father.
Shey Hi julie
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Lil God Bless julie
nutty I think that is a great point to instill in parents. To love our children no matter what.
cwt yes. Gary Smalley says "I love you, I love your wife, I love your children" to his 10 year old!
Lil And it's not only telling them but more than anything showing them.
nutty I agree.
cwt There is something children really want from us - time - interest in their world....
Lil I think showing them its better than telling them, althou there are children who need to hear it.
cwt I know for me, I have to be willing to lay aside what I'm "in the middle" of to be with them. That is hard for me to do sometimes
nutty I know its good to get involved in their world.
cwt yes...even if it is interest in what they built out of lego....
Lil Well, it was a pleasure chatting with all of you must go back to work. Maybe tonight or tomorrow night we can chat some more. God Bless you All... Remmeber wisdom from God.
nutty yes! see it as fun
cwt I think with sibling rivalry, you have to make special effort to communicate that they are loved in a way they understand
Shey I hear you cwt. I have a hard time pealing myself away from what I'm doing
cwt Thanks Lil. Hope you come again
Lil ty all
Lil bye
nutty bye for now
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cwt My daughter is aware of my love, more than my son. He needs it expressed in a different way
cwt so sometimes they compete with each other in this way
cwt I know I need wisdom from God in handling it...because more often than not, I simply get frustrated with them....
Shey me too.
cwt Well, our hour is up...let's close in prayer...then those who desire can stay and chat...
cwt Dear Lord. sibling rivalry is sometimes hard to understand. Give us Your wisdom to see the root cause of the feelings and fears of our children. Help us love them and be willing to serve them when they need us. Give us courage to be parents who love them deeply and pray for them often. Amen

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