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even whSubject: Building Better Relationships
Date: September 13, 2001
Related Article: Why Don't You Throw a Party?
Each of us has relationships in our lives. Some have meaningful ones, some have distant ones, and some just have bad ones. Whatever your circumstances are, you are in a position where you can build better and more meaningful relationships. Please join us as we share some techniques as to how we can do that.
What are some characteristics of a meaningful relationship?
- Describe ways to enhance the relationships you already have in your life?
- Discuss ways to change a bad relationship into a good one?
- What are the risks in building better relationships?
- Are there some who you are better off not having relationship with?
- How do you overcome differences in relationships?
- What are some ways you can be the kind of friend that makes a difference in the lives around you?
Participants: cwt, Rosebud, July, Faith, Spud, Weaser
Cwt - dear God and Father, We pray that you will be with us tonight. That you will guide our discussion. I pray that this chat will be an encouragement to all who join. Amen
Rosebud- Amen
July- amen
cw-t What are some characteristics of a meaningful relationship?
July- Honesty and communication
Rosebud- Faithful and confidentiality
Faith- Friendships were both parties are truly, caring of one another.
Rosebud- holy and yet fun
cwt- putting the other persons needs before our own needs
Faith- Good points
Rosebud -all wonderful qualities
Rosebud- someone you can let your hair down with and be real
cw-t another good quality is loyalty
Rosebud- yes
July- I agree
Faith- That is so true Rosebud because with some people we do often feel we can't be ourselves.
cwt- I think thats important rosebud...being able to be real with someone
Faith- Especially when meeting new people.
Rosebud- yes, that's right
Rosebud- It's an art to put people at ease
Faith- I agree!
July- thats true
Rosebud- I'm working at it
cwt -thats for sure
Faith- Me too because I do tend to get a little nervous with some people and then really am not myself.
cwt- putting someone at ease...how can you learn that quality
Rosebud- Many people are trying to make such a good impression that they arn't thinking how to make the other person comfortable
July- Its a good feeling when your friends "make them selves at home" in your home.
Rosebud- yes
Rosebud- I can relate, Faith
July- It lets you know that they feel comfortable around you
Rosebud- They dont get to know the real person inside us
Faith- True
Rosebud- when we're uptight
cwt- we tend to mask our real self when we are just meeting someone
Rosebud- We are so afraid of making a bad impression
Faith- I hear you.
cwt- I guess it is a defense mechanism it protect ourselves from being hurt
Rosebud- People rarely like that pretend person
Rosebud- Why are we so worried abouot what people think?
Faith -Because we compare ourselves to others unfavorably.
Faith- Then we perceive everyone else as doing things better and feel we fall short of the mark.
Rosebud-Maybe so,Faith
Rosebud- true
cwt- the funny thing is we have no idea what that other person is thinking inside they may feel the same way we are feeling
Rosebud- Probably right
Faith- So that is a type of judging or trying to mind-read thinking we automatically know what the other person is thinking.
cwt -every one has insecurities about themselves and we forget that we only need to worry about what God think about us
Rosebud- It's too bad because laides really need those relationships
Rosebud- But we limit them this way
Faith- That is the truth. If we know who we are in Christ then it shouldn't matter what the opinions of others are about us.
Rosebud- you're right cwt
Rosebud- yes
Rosebud- Takes having the mind of Christ
Rosebud- Retraining
cwt- so if we are secure with who we are in Christ we should be able to be real with other people to build more meaningful relationships
spud This is true
Rosebud- I hope to arrive there
Rosebud- How do we get there, cwt
cwt- you hope to arrive at being secure in Christ or being real with other people?
Rosebud -Well I guess they do go together but I was talking about being real and in turn they feel that way to me
cwt -I think what need to come first is that real meaningful relationship with God
Faith- I agree.
Rosebud- I do have faith in Jesus as my savior
cwt- Knowing God and knowing that He loves me for who I am no matter what I do or what I look like
spud- We need to place are secuity in Christ! This is a choice. Are security comes from Christ
Rosebud- I think its' about renewing our mind and putting down the old man
cwt- I have security that God will always love me even when I fail
Rosebud- yes
Faith- I find it comforting that God will never change. That He always remains the same.
Rosebud- yes,He's not moody or changeable
cwt- and then taking it one step further in knowing that it is God's opinion of me that matters not the opinion of man.
cwt- I still have to remind myself of this daily
spud- If God is for us who can be against us
cwt- This is what allows me the freedom to be who I am and be who God whats me to be
Faith- So true. And it really is amazing what a person can do when they start thinking this way. A lot of things I would never have ventured to do if I hadn't been a Christian.
Faith- God places things there and He gives me the confidence to do them.
Rosebud- I'm glad I'm not the only one that need to remember these things
Faith- When I start getting insecure, I just confess it all to God and things always change after that.
cwt- You talked about putting down the old man.... that is a daily thing we need to do. We constantly need to allow the Holy spirit to control our lives
spud- what are some characteristics of insecurity?
Faith- So true cwt. It is almost a moment to moment thing.
cwt good question
Faith -Comparing ourselves to others in an unfavorable way.
spud Yes
Faith- Worrying about what others think of us and dwelling on nasty comments.
cwt- feeling of self doubt
Faith- Absolutely
cwt- feeling like everyone is talking about you
spud -Not taking risks
Faith- Those are good points.
cwt -so.....Describe ways to enhance the relationships you already have in your life.
cwt -spending quality time with them
spud- I think we need to do acts of kindness
Rosebud -I think being the one to start
Faith- When they share a problem, take the time to follow up and see what happened with the situation.
cwt -I like that Rosebud
cwt- listen to them when they talk
Faith- Some people do tend to be fairweather type of friends and when they feel nothing is in it for them they exit.
spud- Don't just talk about yourself but be sincerely interested in your friends life
Faith- That is good spud.
Rosebud- Do you thnk that sometimes people worry about rejection
Faith- Yes
cwt- definately
Faith- Especially if something in the past caused them to feel rejected.
Rosebud- I do too, and then no one begins the relatinship
cwt- I do when I forget to keep focused on God
Faith- That is so true Rosebud.
Rosebud- what can we do, just keep focused on who we are in Christ?
Faith- Reading the Bible and applying it to our lives.
cwt- Have you ever Heard of the Holy Spirit fille life
Rosebud- yes
spud- We need to believe that our secuity comes from Christ
Rosebud- and then step out?
Faith- Yes, but could you explain it for us?
cwt- Once we accept Jesus as our saviour we have the Holy Spirit in our lives.
spud- We need to walk by faith
cwt- But we need to allow the Holy Spirit to control our lives
cwt- so often we control our own lives like being a back seat driver
Rosebud- I think at times it's hard to decifer if its my desire or His
Faith -True, but if we give Christ control of our car then we receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit.
cwt- I think that if you are indeed filled and allowing the Holy Spirit to control your life you no longer have doubts about God's will or desires
cwt- you can be filled with the Holy Spirit simply by praying and doing what we like to call spiritually breating
Rosebud -Can you explain that,cwt
cwt -you exhale by confessing any sin in your life and present every area of your life to God.
Rosebud- total surrender?
cwt -we inhale when we by surrendering our control back to God
Faith- Then when you inhale you surrender control of your life to Christ, and receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit by faith. Then trust that He now directs your life.
Rosebud- I see
cwt- by faith total surrendr
cwt- that make sense rosebud
Rosebud -Yes, but I get concerned how to apply
Faith- It is almost like a bunch of new cars on a car lot. They don't run until you put the gas in the tank. They might all look the same on the outside but the one with gas would be different.
Faith -The one with the gas is different on the inside.
spud- We need walk in the spirit
cwt- The one with the gas has power to move.
Rosebud- to career changes, changes in life situations, all things that are good
Rosebud- Knowing Gods perfect plan
Rosebud- Somethings are good either way, know what I mean?
cwt- when we give our lives to God and allow him to control it has a real sense of relief because God is in control and His plan is the best one for us
spud- this is so reasuring
Rosebud- I believe that His plan is the best, I guess it's just realizing His plan
Rosebud- Not mine
Faith- I think so Rosebud.
cwt- the bible says that Gods plans are for good not for harm.
Rosebud- Can I give you an example ?
spud -If we realize that God is a Good God this means that he most certainly has a good plan for us
cwt- sure
cwt- right spud
Rosebud- Ok
Rosebud- Well, I'm praying if this is God: I feel restless and my girls are teens but I feel that there is more and Have been thinking about going back for more education
Rosebud -Could this be right at my age. can I really cut it at my age? I dont want to start something and not finish the job. I Want Gods perfect will. See what I mean?
cwt- I understand...
Faith- I hear you Rosebud.
Rosebud- thank, for understanding
Rosebud- I am really concerned about it
Faith- It sounds difficult Rosebud but maybe this ties into what we were saying about taking risks.
Rosebud- Could be. I dont want to miss God. I want His best
cwt -I can see your concern, rosebud. You are concerned that you are doing what God wants you to do
Faith- We are just discussing insecurities right now and where we get our confidence from weaser.
cwt- How long have you been praying about it?
Rosebud- Oh, for about a month, earnestly. Has passed my mind a few years ago. I put it off because finances
spud- There are times when we need to make a choice and make a decision. Based on what we know? Have you heard of the sound mind principle
Rosebud -and maybe fear
cwt- and what is you gut feeling about it..your deep down feeling
Rosebud- I really want to be qualified and dont want to burden my family with debt
Faith- Could we pray for you Rosebud?
Rosebud- Oh, I would really LOVE it
spud- Father we pray for Rosebud.
cwt- Father we pray for Rosebud , we pray the you would give her wisdom in making the dission to go back to school..
Faith- Father, please give Rosebud the wisdom she needs to make a decision on going back to school. Please let her make the decision that reflects Your will for her life. Guide her father. In Jesus' name, Amen
Faith- So how did you find the chat weaser?
weaser- just looking up someone to pray with me i cant type very good i slow at it and new to the computer
cwt- please take away all of her insecurities amen
Rosebud -Thank you girls
spud- I ask that you would give rosebud wisdom. Show her what you would want her to do. May she be in the center of your will. We know that you guide and lead her! Amen
Faith -That is okay weaser. You will catch on quickly.
Faith -How may we pray for you today weaser?
Rosebud- Thanks again
cwt- what is the sound mind principle
Rosebud- yes, was going to ask that
weaser- please pray for my son he is on drugs my heart my home every thing is almost destroyed
Rosebud -So sorry weaser
Rosebud- How old is your son?
weaser- 20
Rosebud- And he is living at your home?
cwt- ladies we need to close the formal part of our chat. Please continue to chat after we pray to close.
Faith- Heavenly Father, We lift weaser up to you today. Please thwart Satan's plan to keep her son addicted to drugs. Give him the strength he needs to turn his life around. Please strengthen weaser to get through this awful situation. In Jesus' Name, Amen
weaser- i do not know who you are but please pray
weaser- yes
Faith- I am so sorry weaser.
Rosebud- thank you cwt for the prayers and good night
weaser- thanks
Rosebud -Weaser, I would like to pray too
Faith- Goodnight Rosebud. Thanks for coming.
