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Subject: Dealing With Conflict
Date: May 14, 2001
Dealing With Conflict
It's hard to pinpoint what went wrong. How did the relationship deteriorate from best of friends to this raging conflict? The pain you feel over the loss of the friendship is so intense you feel you cannot stand it. Is there any way to change the tide and recover what's been lost? Please join us as for a stimulating discussion on resolving conflict.
1 What are some causes of conflict in relationships?
2 What does the Bible say about dealing with conflict in relationships?
3 What is the first step to restore broken relationships?
4 How does the Holy Spirit help us in dealing with conflict?
5 How does one learn to live in peace?
DEALING WITH CONFLICT
cwt let's open in prayer before we get started on tonight's discussion on dealing with conflict
kat ok
Cass ok
cwt Father, thank you for the time that we can have together tonight. Guide us by your Spirit, Amen
kat amen
Cass amen
Cass I can't stay for long. My husband just got home...
cwt Let's get started then...what re some causes of conflict in relationships?
Cass lack of communication
kat not being able to tell how one really feels about something perhaps
Cass secrets
cwt misuderstanding
cwt that was misunderstanding
cwt how about assumptions
kat that is a good one
cwt especially in marriage that is such a killer
Cass I hear you
kat I believe almost every conflict could be avoined by just talking and listening
cwt we fight an entire battle in our minds and the initial assumption is wrong
cwt you are so right!
kat our minds are the battleground for satan
cwt so true!
Cass it always gets the worst of us too
cwt absolutely
kat but sometimes even when we speek our minds, things are not taken care of
Cass it makes things worse
cwt sometimes that is really true
kat it is so hard to find friends that don't just desire a surface relationship
Cass Does anyone have a "best frien?""
Cass friend
cwt I think the answer to that depends on what you mean by a best friend
kat I have one, and as the bible says, she is has stayed closer to me than my family
............................ Cyna joined.............
cwt welcome Cyna
kat hi there
Cass I have one too. She's from church and she too is closer than family
cwt we are just talking about dealing with conflict
cwt and the cost of friendship
kat I have found the Lord very faithful to His word with things like that
Cyna Type HEREHello?
Cass Hi Cyna
cwt is this your first time in our chat room Cyna?
cwt we are glad you could join us
kat Cyna, that is a pretty name
cwt what does the Bible say about dealing with conflict in relationships?
cwt we were talking earlier about the importance of communication in relationships
kat I don't know verse or chapter, but I believe to just be honest with someone and love them
cwt Philippians 4:8 gives us some good imput on that.....whatever is pure, lovely, true, praiseworthy, think on those things
Cass there's the lack of communication and the inability to communicate
kat that is a good scripture to keep on the frig when one is depressed
cwt that really helps us believe the best about people...and yes, it has been on my fridge many times over the years
Cass gotta write that one down
cwt believing the best in people is what I Corinthians 13 is all about too...
Cass Well, my time has run out. Good night ladies.
cwt thanks for joining us...do come again soon!
............................ Cass left.............
kat I guess it is important that the other person in the relatinship is just as eager to make things work out
cwt yes, it does take a commit on both sides
cwt I think that is why there are so few people with really deep friendships...it takes work
............................ lori joined.............
kat I have family who live in the same town as myself, but they don't care to be friends..how sad
cwt welcome lori
kat hi lori
lori Hello
cwt we are talking about dealing with conflict in relationships
cwt I hear you kat....being friends with our family has to go two ways
kat yea, it helps :)
cwt I know that I really wish that my sister and I could be good friends...but it just hasn't happened
lori I think conflict in a relationship is one of the hardest things to deal with
kat I know..I guess all we can do is try our best and pray.
cwt sometimes it is hard to know what to do first
cwt What do you think is the first step to restore broken relationships?
............................ Gloree joined.............
cwt welcome Gloree
Gloree ty
lori I think soul searching to see what part was your own fault
cwt we are talking about dealing with conflict in relationships, and what the first step is to restoring broken relationships
kat Well, I guess to ask the Lord where the conflict is coming from. Sometimes it is easy to see what the problem is, but sometimes the enemy has caused it
cwt someone once said that in every criticism there lies a kernel of truth
lori Going before God and confessing your own sin and then asking forgiven from the other person
cwt so true!
Gloree what if that person has no idea about it?
cwt sometimes we just need to ask for forgiveness and then leave it at that
Gloree amen
kat That is great to do..but the other person has to be open and honest about his or her part in the situation
lori I agree cwt
cwt especially if the other person really doesn't have any idea about it
Gloree yes in some cases
cwt sometimes we think there is conflict, when in fact it is just a difference is style of communication
kat There could be so many reasons for the conflict. Maybe the Lord is trying to stop the relationship because the person isn't good for you, or something like that
cwt that could be
cwt what I was thinking of is how we all relate differently to peopl
kat I guess just talking it out with the Lord and praying for wisdom as we are told we can do in James
Gloree amen Kat
Gloree i have done that
lori right on kat
Gloree and asking the lord to love that person
cwt so true Kat....what I was thinking is how some are singular relational...they like to have one close friend
kat and there comes a time when the bible says if you have done all you can do, to just stand
cwt other people are familiar...they like a small group of friends
Gloree the lord has giving me so much love for people i throught I could never love
kat an agepe' love is awesome
Gloree amen Kat
Gloree that is God's love
lori and only God can give us that agepe love
cwt absolutely
kat I was so abused and hurt over the years that the Lord has had to give me a supernatural love for people
cwt that is neat that He can do that
Gloree wow kat,what better love in all the world!
Gloree it is a every lasting love
kat The Lord is my bestest friend...I love Him
lori thats great kat
Gloree What a friend we have in Jesus
kat when there is someone in my life (even my hubby:), that is on my nerves, I try to love them as Jesus does
lori It is God that allows us to show love to people that are so different from us
Gloree you know, you think you forgive but when you start feeling the pain all over again, that is hard
kat thats right
cwt it is always good to remember too that our battle is not against flesh and blood(Ephesians)
Gloree amen
kat I guess forgiveness is a choice, and sometimes feelings have nothing to do with it..but that is soooo hard
cwt forgiveness is always a choice...
Gloree inner pain is hard to deal with
kat thats right
cwt but that is where the Holy Spirit at work in our lives is sooo important
lori and unforgiveness keeps us in bondage
Gloree only God can really do the operation
cwt when we harbor bitterness or resentment, we give the enemy a foothold in our lives
kat I was able to forgive my hurts of the past when I became a parent and began to make mistakes and wanted forgiveness
cwt instead we need to allow God, by His Holy Spirit, to have control of every part of our lives, even the places where we have really been hurt
Gloree amen
kat praying the healing balm of gilead to pour over us and heal us
lori Its comforting to know that Jesus suffered on this earth and knows exactly what our hurts are
Gloree i was hurt by a first grade teacher and the lord should me that 40 year later
Gloree can you believe that?
cwt You're so right lori...He knows exactly what we re going thru
Gloree i didn't know how much i hated her , till the lord should me that
kat That is neat...
Gloree i ask the lord forgive me and heal that hurt
Gloree and i cry like a baby
Gloree wow was I ever set free!!!
kat now that teacher can be dealt with, because of your willingness to forgive
Gloree amen Kat
Gloree and guess what
cwt we always have to be willing to let go of the hurt though...sometimes we would rather hang on
Gloree i ran into her about three days after that
kat we become comfortable with the hurt, it sounds odd but it is true
Gloree and i when up to her
cwt I know what you mean kat
Gloree can you believe that i was 40 year old
Gloree i didn't know if she was alive or dead and the lord set her in front of me and a dinner
kat He does know what we need for further growth
lori I think it is human nature that wants us to hold on to bitterness and self-pity but God ants us to forgive as he forgave us
Gloree amen
cwt absolutely!
Gloree i saw in her hurt!
kat right on
Gloree i felt sorry for her
Gloree she had never married or had children
kat I am 49 years old and at church last week the Lord set me free from a horrible depression that came from my childhood
cwt God is indeed a good God!
Gloree that is inner healing
Gloree amen
cwt that's where His Holy Spirit is at work, in your life, working from the inside out
kat When I sung sunday morning I had a new anointing on my song..God is gracious
Gloree wow that is great Kat
kat thanks
Gloree a new anointing
Gloree a fresh anointing
cwt as we give Him control, He can work in our lives
kat yea, He has choisen to bless my song when I sing
cwt that's great
cwt How doe one learn to live in peace?
............................ ruth joined.............
Gloree you know we have peace living in us
cwt welcome ruth
Gloree hi ruth
ruth hi
Gloree and we need to walk in it
ruth thank you
lori hi ruth
Gloree from his word
ruth hi
cwt we have been talking about dealing with conflict in relationships
kat hi ruth
ruth i see
cwt I just asked how we can learn to live in peace
ruth ok
Gloree we need to ask are self , what would Jesus do?
ruth yes that is true
cwt that's true
kat I think just following the word of God, living in His righteouness
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lori we can have a lot of peace just by taking everything to God in prayer
kat that is true
cwt also, I have learned from beling a parent, I need to choose what mountain I want to die on, that is pick my battles
Gloree that is good!
kat that is soooo true
lori very true cwt
cwt conflict on the home front is often the result of making mountains out of molehills
kat that is sooo true
cwt my husband regularly reminds me that no child has ever died of a dirty room!
kat I know, but can they at least keep the door shut:)
Gloree my children or come out of the house now, and it is just me and husband
lori My husband constantly prayes for peace when he is praying at supper time
Gloree gone
cwt with small children that'
cwt that's a good thing to pray for!
cwt actually with big ones too!
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kat Sometimes the things we allow to be brought into our home via television can invade our peace
cwt true
lori very true
Gloree yes, like star track
Gloree is on now
kat The Lord reciently showed me that my favorite soap opera brought in witchcraft
Gloree he delieved me from soaps also
cwt actually it is amazing how many tv shows bring in the 'paranormal' as they call it
cwt even the good shows
kat the enemy of our souls is sooo subtle...he sneeks in one show after another
lori it has gotten to the point where I watch very little tv
cwt it is important to teach our children to recognize that as well, so they will recognize the battle too
cwt I hear you lori...i watch less, and less
lori yes...cwt so true
Gloree if it is just me , i listens to the radio
Gloree and tv off all day
............................ luvsgames joined.............
cwt welcome luvsgames!
kat I like TBN..Jesse DUplantis
Gloree hi luvsgames
luvsgames Type HEREhi
Gloree i love JesseDU
Gloree he is good
lori Hi luvsgames
cwt We have been talking about dealing with conflict in relationships
luvsgames ok
cwt and how we can learn to live in peace
kat I gotta run..thanks for the chat..It was a blast
cwt thanks for joining us kat!
Gloree nite Kat
cwt Come again
Gloree bless you
lori see you kat
Gloree please keep my daughter Stephaine in prayer she goes to the hopital to see if the baby she is caring is in any stress
Gloree carrying
cwt How far along is she?
Gloree 8
cwt let's just pray for her right now...
Gloree she has High b pressure
Gloree ty
cwt Father, we lift Stephanie up before you. You know everything about her and the baby she is carrying. Give the doctors wisdom and give Stehpanie peace as she waits on you. Amen
Gloree yes lord
lori amen
Gloree we do speak peace to her
Gloree peace to her spirit and body
cwt I can identify with your daughter...I too had high blood pressure and had to have stress tests when pregnant
cwt My son is now 23 years old
Gloree my daughter is 23
Gloree lord take care of my grand daughter in her womb
Gloree are hope is only in you
lori you know I was just thinking ...stress is something that can bring conflict into out relationships
Gloree i 'm going with her tomorrow at 10 am
Gloree that is right lori
cwt that's a good point lori
Gloree stress is not of GOD
cwt when we are under stress, all sorts of conflict can arise
lori thats for sure
Gloree he is peace in the storm
cwt what is the presenting problem is not always the presenting problem
Gloree yes in or body mine spirt
cwt sometimes it helps to recognize that we are under stress and that is why we respond to one another like we do
lori good point cwt
Gloree that is for sure
Gloree my husband has lots of stress at work
Gloree and bring it home everynite
cwt sometimes taking a long walk does wonders....helps us get rid of the stress
cwt that is difficult gloree
Gloree i do that everyday
lori yes or a long bath
Gloree very
Gloree i do that too lol
Gloree it is this one man at work that bugs him
cwt haven't had a long bath in a long time...think I might just do that tonight!
Gloree all day
kat thanks
Gloree you do that cwt
cwt hi kat...thought you had left
cwt we were just talking about how stress affects relationships
Gloree my husband come home all tight every nite
cwt sometimes it helps to talk it out, and then not talk about it anymore
Gloree we have prayed and prayed for this man to change
cwt rather than go over and over it
lori You need to give him a good neck massage
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cwt good idea lori
Gloree yes
Gloree we are not the tail
Gloree and he treats my huband like a dog all day long
cwt not good
Gloree we treat or dog good! lol
cwt it is always difficult when our husbands are under stress
Gloree he said he would rather be dead
Gloree then to go back there
Gloree isn't that awful
Gloree poor hubby
lori that is sad
cwt sounds like maybe he needs a new job
Gloree this is such a good job
Gloree and why should he have to leave?
Gloree isn't that giving in to the devil?
cwt having him quit
Gloree thank you all, I need someone to talk to
Gloree bless you all
cwt let's pray for your husband first gloree
cwt sounds like he is in a tough spot
Gloree no that is ok
Gloree i won't come in here anymore
cwt Father, I lift up Glorees' husband...being in a difficutl situation every day is hard
Gloree i tallk to much
Gloree nite
cwt give him grace to show your love in the daily's of his life
cwt amen
cwt gloree... i will be thinking of you tomorrow when you go with your daughter. She is blessed to have you to go with her
cwt It is time to close ladies
cwt Father help us to remember what we talked about tonight...guide us in our relationships and help us to learn to live in peace
cwt amen
cwt 'room log off
