Email 
Bookmark 
Print The Joy of Friendship
Subject: The Joy of Friendship
Date: September 3, 2001
Related Article: Best Friends
Even in loneliness, have you ever looked at yourself as the friend of someone you may not have ever gotten to know before? You are in a position where you can bring joy into someone’s life by being her friend. As women, we are often lonely because of the busyness and sheltered lives we live. There are people all around us who feel the same and are looking for a meaningful friend. Even in this chat room, friendships are being built and women are being impacted through knowing that someone cares for them. Please join us!
What does being a friend mean to you?
- What qualities do you value in a friend?
- How do you improve a friendship that is struggling?
- Should one sacrifice values for a friendship?
- What keeps a friendship alive and growing?
- What are some ways that we can cherish our friends more?
____________________________________________
Participants: cwt, faith, angelhand, peg, Sunshine, Shey, Lovely Sunrise, Deemms, crazydazy898
cwt- Father, thank you for the time that we can have together tonight.Teach us more about friendship and guide our discussion by Your Spirit. Amen
cwt -What does being a friend mean to you?
Faith -Someone who is there for us in good and bad times and likewise.
sunshine -Depends on the depth of friendship
sunshine- Hopefully treating the other as someone special/priceless
cwt- Someone who stands by me in thick and thin
Faith- Good point cwt.
cwt- What you said is part of it too sunshine...there are definitely different depths of friendships
angelhand -What of a person who was your friend for 5 years and you shared everything with this person. This person moves 1/2 hour away from you and you never hear from her again. Is this a friend?
cwt- That is really hard angelhand
Faith- That is difficult.
cwt- Is she a person who has a lot of people in her life?
angelhand-Yes, she does have a lot of people in her life.
Faith- So she doesn't really make time for you anymore.
cwt -The reason I ask is that one of the things that has helped me understand some of my friends better has been to understand what kind of people they are
angelhand- nope
.
cwt- Multirelational people have lots of people in their lives
angelhand -actually, she's a Jehova's Witness and to me being so religious, she has put a damper on my faith
cwt- That would definitely put a strain on your relationship
Faith -It is difficult but sometimes friendships change over time.
cwt- When you are friends with a multirelational person, when you aren't close to them, they seem to forget about you
cwt- it's not necessarily true, but it's just that there are lots of other people in their lives
Faith- True
sunshine- Some friends are there for life, and some for a season.
angelhand- but we shared so much together. We cried, laughed, talked about our relationships with our husbands
cwt- The second group of people are familiar...they have a smaller group of people that they call friends
cwt- That makes it even harder
angelhand- Anyhow, I just want to say that I have a hard time getting close to people because I'm afraid of getting hurt
Faith- Do you have any other close friends angelhand?
.
angelhand- I have two friends who live 2 hours away from here
cwt -The third kind of person is a singular relational person, one that has only one or two close friends
cwt- Are you more like that?
angelhand- I'm very picky with my friends.
angelhand -yes cwt I think so
Faith- I am more like that. I have a few close friends and not always so many other friends.
cwt -We are all different
cwt- I am familiar, but I have several friends who are multi-relational
cwt- Now I don't expect as much from them, because I understand them better
cwt- It isn't that they don't care, they are just not mindful of my expectations
cwt- What qualities do you value in a friend?
sunshine- Seems like a familiar or singular relational person would have a lot harder time forming & letting go of relationships.
Faith- Loyalty
cwt- You are right sunshine!
sunshine- Trust, honesty
angelhand- Someone who can hug back
cwt- The multirelational person is always meeting new people and making new friends
cwt- someone who listens
sunshine- yes, cwt, listens not only to words, but to the heart
Faith- Also, someone who keeps a confidence. You can tell them something and know it won't go any further.
cwt- good points
Peg- I'm not sure I caught the 3 types of friends you are talking about, because I was late joining. However, do you think that the multi-relational person really makes friends or do they merely make acquaintances?
angelhand- I have 3 sisters and they're my best friends
sunshine- interesting question, Peg...I was just thinking along those lines
Faith- That is a good point Peg. Sometimes I think they maybe do just make acquaintances.
cwt- They do make friends, but at a different level than what others do
sunshine I've known someone w/ lots of "friends", but seemed unable to maintain deep relationships.
cwt- talking about what qualities we value in a friend
cwt- the different kinds of people have different qualities that they value
sunshine- what do you mean, cwt?
Faith- I find it easy to talk to a lot of different people but prefer that I have a few close friends.
cwt- to a Singular relational person, a friend is someone who is totally committed to them
cwt- they have high expcetations of others
Peg- Do most of us feel that our sisters are our best friends? I have 7 sisters, and I think I have others who provide a deeper friendship. It is often easier to relate to non-family.
cwt- I only have one sister, and we are definitely not best friends
angelhand- I agree Peg
cwt -our lives are really different
angelhand- 7 sisters??????
sunshine- My sister is one of my 3 or 4 best friends on earth!
cwt- You are soooo blessed!
Shey- I have a sister in law that I am very close to I don't have a sister
cwt- I actually get along better with my sister-in-law than with my sister
angelhand- I love my 3 sisters but I'm only very close to one of them. We can talk about anything and we don't judge each other
Faith -That is neat.
Faith- And that is important to not pass judgements.
angelhand- I know she'll be my best friend for the rest of my life
cwt- What keeps a friendship alive and growing?
angelhand -keeping in touch with each other
Shey- but I'd have to say that my closest friend is a friend I go to church with. We can talk about anything and feel the same way about most things
Faith- Making time for our friends.
sunshine -prayer .... honesty
sunshine- common goals
Shey- constant imput into each others lives
cwt- My best friend is my walking partner...we have walked together for 13 years
sunshine -That's neat!
Faith- That is wonderful.
cwt- We started walking together when our babies startedkindergarten, and they just graduated
sunshine- I think laughing together helps.
Faith- Actually, it might sound funny but my husband is really my very, best friend aside from the other few close friends I have.
cwt -That's awesome Faith
cwt- My husband and I are best friends too...my walking partner is my best girlfriend
Faith -That is so neat cwt that you have such a nice friendship with your walking partner and that it has endured all these years.
cwt- It hasn't always been easy....we are very different
cwt- But we are committed to our friendship
cwt- So when our friendship was struggling, we were willing to talk about the tought stuff
cwt- Like when our daughters who were best friends were fighting, we had to be willing to let them work it out
Faith- So true. Sometimes we do have to reveal the problem to the other person and work to solve it.
cwt- that's right faith
sunshine- That requires a commitment to the other person and to the relationship.
Faith- True. Some people are more fair weather type of friends and then when the going gets tough they exit.
cwt- That's right sunshine
cwt- And we talked through those misunderstandings that came up
cwt- Do some of you have those kinds of relationship with your sisters?
Faith- And sometimes we do jump to conclusions and then find out the other person didn't really mean what we thought they did.
cwt- That's so true!
cwt- That's one of the ways to improve a firendship that is struggling, don't you think?
Faith- I have a cousin who has done that type of thing. But usually I am just upfront with her and then we resolve things.
cwt- To be willing to talk about those misunderstandings and clear them up
sunshine- My sister & I are close. We can talk through almost anything.
Peg- I have several good friends. Some of us attend the same Church, and then we started meeting for coffee, and talking about what was important in our lives. It all boils down to the same things, but all of us used to have different ideas about the solution.
cwt- That is really special Peg
Faith- That is wonderful. Making time for each other and then respecting everyone's ideas.
Peg- Yes - especially since we Used to think differently.
cw-t I think that when we have the same core values, even if our personalities differ, we can still be good friends
Faith- Very true.
sunshine- Reminds me of our quilting group, Peg .... we exchange ideas on quilting & on life, and come away the better for it.
cwt- I always thought that I would love to be part of a quilting group sunshine
.
sunshine- I love it for the fellowship and sharing -- the quilting is a bonus
Peg -Agreed, cwt. Opposites can attract provided there is some magnatism, respect, and honest desire to learn.
cwt- so true Peg!
cwt-Shey, you mentioned that your best friend is someone at church..are your kids the same age?
cwt- I find that often is something that brings women especially together
Peg -The magnetism is an attraction to God.
cwt -That is neat Peg!
Faith -Yes. My closest friends are all in the same season of life pretty much.
Faith- Raising kids the same age.
Shey -our first three are and then she just had a baby in June
cwt- Close enough! :-)
Peg -Most of my friends are younger than me. Makes the grey seem less of a hassle.
cw-t LOL
Shey- that's probably what first brought us together
cwt- I think that because I am getting close to an empty nest, I appreciate having women in my life that are at the same stage as me....
cwt- shows me what to expect next
sunshine- Seems like when I moved here, most of our friends were a bit older -- sometimes harder to connect w/o kids.
Faith- And they can relate to things you are feeling.
cwt- I think you are probably right there sunshine
cwt- at least when you are younger...
cwt- How do you improve a friendship that is struggling?
Shey- helps to see someone go through the same things you do. Doesn't make you feel out of place
cwt- that's true Shey!
Peg- being anempty nester can give you freedom, peace & quiet - then comes the grand children.
Faith- Good point.
cwt- my kids tell me I will have a long wait before I am a grandmother!
Faith- Lol
cwt- I think that when a friendship is struggling, the first thing that I do, is check to see if there is any unconfessed sin in my life...
cwt- sometimes it is because of envy or pride or jealousy
Faith- I see what you mean now.
cwt- I need to confess that, and then allow God by His Holy Spirit to take over control of my life again....
Faith- That is true. Jealousy could get the upper hand if we are not careful.
Shey- yes to see if I have done something to cause the problem
cwt- breathe out the bad, and breathe in the good...we call it Spiritual Breathing
cwt- that's right Shey
cwt -Often it is because I have been insensitive, or had the wrong attitude
Peg- True, and you have no control over whenthey arrive. If a friend is struggling, Ilike to have a private chat and shhare when i've had a challenge, and how God helped me.
cwt -Good point Peg
cwt -Once I have given God control of my life again, then I can tackle the friendship issue
Faith- When things go wrong, very often it is because we are trying to control things instead of giving it over to God.
sunshine- Sometimes it can help to ask God what He is doing in my life, or in the life of the other person.
cwt- That's so true Faith
Peg- Yes faith
cw- That's a good point sunshine!
cwt- I am such a fixer...I am always trying to fix my life, my children's lives, and the lives of others
cwt- I have to learn to let God do it!!
Faith- I hear you.
Faith- I am guilty of that myself.
.
crazydazy898- i have a serious ???
sunshine- But sometimes God puts that space into the relationship to draw us closer to Himself, I think.
Peg -Welcome crazy
cwt- What's your questions?
Faith- So true Sunshine.
crazydazy898- is there any mothers in here that can help me i am scared
cwt- Why are you scared?
Faith- Very often it is the trials that God uses to make us more like Him.
cwt -You are so right there Faith!
cwt -It is in the trial that He molds us!
crazydazy898-im 6months preg and i need to know something
cwt- When things get really hot! :-)
cwt -What's that?
Faith- What do you want to ask crazydazy898?
crazydazy898- well im very worried cause every day i felt the baby moving and kicking and it was like every hour and it dont seem as active the past 3 days
cwt- Are you still feeling movement though?
Faith Sometimes as the baby gets bigger there is less room to move around and they may become not as active.
Faith Did you consult the doctor yet?
crazydazy898 well its my first child and its hard to explain like when i lay down i feel alot and when im just sitting there i feel a kick and those little things
Faith Also did something happen like a fall or anything like that?
cwt Lord, we just lift crazydazy898 before You right now...give her peace of mind.
crazydazy898 oh no
cwt- Usually we feel more movement when we are quiet
cwt- Night times were always the times I felt the most
Peg -Faith that's correct. As long as there is still a move, its a sign of growth. When is your next Dr's apt?
cwt- And faith is right, sometimes as the baby grows, there is less room. as long as you still feel some movement, don't worry.
crazydazy898- well the other day i was just sitting and i got 9 kicks and its no like that
crazydazy898- the 7th
Faith- Being that you are coming to the end of the second trimester, that is often the time when mothers to be start worrying about the health of the baby.
cwt -So that's this week
crazydazy898- ya
cwt- Father, I just ask you to calm crazydazy's spirit...give her Doctor continued wisdom, and help to trust you during this pregnancy.
crazydazy898- i mean i am good with my vitamens and i go to all the docters appts but now i have a cold
cwt -We have all had concerns about our babies
crazydazy898- what is a misscarriage
crazydazy898- would i know
Peg- I'll pray right now that all will be OK with your baby, the 7th is just in a few days. I also pray for the Dr. Lord, you can bring peace.
cwt- You would know if you miscarried
crazydazy898- how ??
cwt- ...there would be bleeding, and probably cramping
crazydazy89- do u non stop bleeding does it hurt
cw-t it depends on how far along you are
Faith- Father, We pray that you would take this fear and worry away from crazydazy898. Help her to rest and be rid of the anxiety. In Jesus' name, Amen
crazydazy898- like would i keep bleeding or just a blood cloth
cwt- You would bleed lots
Shey- my babies were always far more active at night and seem to rock to sleep when I was busy
Faith -Has there actually been any bleeding?
crazydazy898- ok one more thing
Peg- You wouldn't feel movement if you had a misscairage
cwt -Yes, Lord, we pray that you would just calm her spirit, and remind her often that You have her and her baby in Your hands
crazydazy898- well i dont really want to say but i have a virus and i have to deliever a cecariun
Peg- I believe all babies are created by God, crazy898, try to trust Him. Can you?
crazydazy898 -and i think thats why i got a little blood clot
Shey -crazybazy898 I had a miscarriage and you would bleed probably very heavy and for a few weeks. You would know there was problem
cwt -Me too...You would definitely know
crazydazy898 -so u think my pregnancy seems great
cwt -Just a little does happen...with my son, it happened several times over a period of months
cwt -Talk to your doctor about it, but in the meantime, give it over to God
crazydazy898 -give what over to god??
Faith- Do you have a meaningful relationship with God crazydazy898?
cwt -Your fears and your baby?
Peg- Do you know how to give it to God?
crazydazy898- well im starting church next week
cwt -that's good...have you ever attended before?
crazydazy898- im only 17
Peg- Is your husband coming too?
crazydazy898- well im doing this because i have to get my baby aptised asap when born but im going to continue with the baby
cwt- God loves you crazy...
crazydazy898- so u think my pregnancy is great i dont have to worry
cwt- And He wants to have a personal relationship with you
cwt- The Bible tells us that He so loved the world that He gave His only Son to die for us....
cwt -Do you believe that Crazy?
crazydazy898- i cant sleep at night nothing it is so uncompfortable
crazydazy898- i believe in god yes but i am worried ok i know god is watching im worried im hoping my pregnacy is ok
cwt -It says in the Bible, that He Knows the plans He has for You. Plans for Your welfare, for a hope and a future
Peg -We don't know for sure, I'm not a Dr. but your pregnancy sounds normal. It;s scary when your alone and have noone to turn to. God can change that.
cwt -That's right
crazydazy898- i have a mother and a father that care very much but i was wooorried and thought i come talk to all of u for advice
cwt- One of the exciting things about having a personal relationship with God, is that I can trust Him when the tough times come
cwt- We are glad you did
Faith- Have you ever invited Jesus into your life crazydazy898?
crazydazy898- well thanks very much and nice talking to you
cwt -Please think about what we said
Peg -God would want to use this time to get closere to you - when we have no control ourselves
crazydazy898- i know
cwt- If you have more questions about what it means to invite Jesus into your life, just check out the 'Journey of Joy' on your sidebar
cwt- it will explain more about it
Faith -God wants to give you a whole new perspective on life crazydazy898.
cwt- And He can give you hope !
cwt- I know because He has for me!
cwt- It really isn't very complicated
cwt- Can we pray for you again?
Peg- keep in touch crazy come back to let us know what the Dr says
cwt- Father, I just pray for crazy. Give her Your peace, and show her more about what it means to have that personal relationship with You.
Peg- Amen
cwt Protect her baby, and remind her often that You love and care for both of them. Amen
Peg- Amen
Faith- Father, We pray for crazydazy898 that you would give her the peace she needs and help her develop a hunger to learn more about You. In Jesus' name, Amen.
cwt- Crazy, if you have never invited Jesus Christ into your life, please consider doing it today...
cwt amen
cwt- I am glad that you came in and talked to us crazy...
Peg- I did that 14 yrs ago, changed my life Best thing I did.
Faith- The chat room is open 24 hours and there are also some topical discussions. If you click on the tab above it will show you the times.
cwt -Me tooo
cwt- Well ladies, our hour has gone by quickly
Faith- Yes. It was the best thing I ever did too!
cwt- In Closing, are there some wahs that we can cherish our friends more?
Peg- Your not here by accident crazy - it shows that God cares for you and wants you to learn more so you can be a great mom
sunshine- Tell them we care. Be there for them in tough times.
cwt- You know Crazy, Jesus Christ really is my very best friend...He is always there for me!
Faith- Make time for them.
cwt- Let them know we appreciate them
cw-t pray for them
Faith- As one of the hymns says, "What a friend we have in Jesus."
cwt- It is time for us to close...let's try to remember to let our friends know how much we appreciate them this week
Peg- What else are friends for - but to support, encourage and pray for.
Peg- good night all !!!!
cwt- Father, thank you so much for this time that we have had together tonight. Remind us often that You are indeed our Best Friend, and that when we allow Your Spirit full control of our lives, we can be that kind of friend to others as well. We love you Lord, Amen
