Email 
Bookmark 
Print The Influence of Respect In Your Relationships
Subject: The Influence of Respect In Your Relationships
Date: April 11, 2001
The Influence of Respect In Your Relationships
Few things feel as significant as the adoration and complete respect of a
young child. Regardless of the relationship - it feels so good to be
someone's hero and to be respected. This gift of respect has an incredible
ability to enrich relationships and carries a great amount of responsibility
with it. Whether you find yourself at work, in a marriage, single, in a
friendship or a parent each relationship can be richly enhanced with respect
and honor. Please join us as we discuss how you can influence the
relationships in your life with honor.
1. What does honoring look like in a home or work situation?
2. If we have not honored someone, how can we improve that relationship?
3. What are some ways we should react when we feel that we have not been
honored?
4. How does honor or lack of honor affect our relationships?
5. How does our relationship with God help us in this area of honoring
others?
6. How can we pray regarding development of honor in our lives?
7. How does the Holy Spirit help us to honor others?
cwt
well should we get started? Let's open in prayer.
cwt
Lord we thank you for this opportunity to begin a daytime chat session to honor you, we ask that your Holy Spirit
would lead and guide us, teach us how to live our lives more honoring to others and to you. Amen
Bernice
Lord, please bless this session and help us learn more about respect and honor.
Laurie
Amen
cwt
the session today is titled the influence of respect in your relationships
Bernice
That is a biggie!
cwt
yes, it certainly is in today's world
............................ Karing joined.............
Bernice
hi karing!
Karing
Hi there
cwt
another word for respect is honor, what does honoring look like in a home or a work situation?
cwt
hi karing welcome!
Karing
Hi
Laurie
I think someone of respect shows good character, kind words and is thoughtful in their actions.
Karing
Honor consists of sensitivity too
Bernice
it is like treating some one as a great treasure - value
cwt
those are great points Laurie, it is esteeming others as well
Karing
With honor ... relationships are deepened.
Bernice
it can make people feel 'important' or 'worthwhile' a deep human need
Karing
That is something people crave for
Karing
It is amazing what people do to feel worthwhile.
Karing
When we feel that someone respects us ... it is a high compliment
Bernice
some one said "like stamping Stradivarius" on their forehead...
cwt
it takes relationships to another level, do you think the Lord is honored when we honor others?
Karing
Absolutely
Laurie
Yes. I think the relationship with the Lord is a vital part of our relationships with others.
Bernice
well, I know God honors us when we honor Him...
Bernice
yes. good point Laurie!
............................ Brandi joined.............
cwt
If we had not honored someone, how can we improve that relationship?
Karing
Hi Brandi
Karing
Welcome
cwt
hi Brandi, welcome
Bernice
hi Brandi!
Brandi
Hi Everyone!
Bernice
I think we have to say "sorry" and mean it
cwt
we are discussing the influence of respect.. or honor in our relationships
Karing
It can be easy to say sorry for the wrong reasons
Bernice
it deeply hurts a person when we are dishonoring in word or deed...more than we realize sometimes.
Karing
Dishonoring can take place unintentionally
cwt
yes, our words can hurt and be so dishonoring, the hard part is once they are out, we can't take them back
Laurie
If we are remorseful and really mean it then that will open the door to restoring relationships.
Karing
When we dishonor unintentionally .... what are some ways to restore that relationship?
Bernice
yes. and then we have to practice honoring by choice
Bernice
I think becoming soft in our voice tone and touch is a first good step
cwt
good point /Bernice
Karing
That is true
cwt
gracious speaking, gentle words
Bernice
kinda like a pillow
cwt
good point
Karing
It is even good to indicate that we did not intend to make that mistake.
Laurie
We have to communicate to others what we really meant. Then maybe they will see things in a new light.
Bernice
maybe some words of praise or value would help too.
Laurie
Good point.
Brandi
I have recently been convicted that I have not been honoring my parents. I sometimes hold a few things against them,
and it has been reflecting in our relationship.
............................ joy joined.............
cwt
How does our relationship with God help us with honoring others?
Karing
Hi Joy
cwt
welcome joy!
cwt
we are talking about honor
Brandi
Hi Joy!
Bernice
you bring up a good point. forgiveness does come into play doesn't it Brandi. Hi Joy
Karing
Brandi .... when God convicts us in regards to any relationship .... I believe we need to take steps in that regard.
Karing
But only as and when God seems to convict us.
joy
hi there look @ all of you.
Brandi
I have noticed a change since then
Karing
We don't need to look for trouble in relationships when it is not there
joy
i've never seen so many of us on the screen @ the same times!
Brandi
They might not change ever ,but I can
Bernice
If the Spirit drives us, sometimes we need to confess - sometimes we just need to change our attitude
Karing
It is so easy to go into a mode where we want to make things right .... that we see trouble where it may not be.
Bernice
more inward
Karing
You are right ..... as we forgive people ... it is not based on them changing, but in God enabling us to forgive them
unconditionally.
Bernice
that's great eh joy!
Karing
Then ... a miracle often takes place ... and we feel sympathy and can see their point of view
Bernice
walk in their shoes for a mile...
Karing
That perhaps they are acting wrongly because of their own hurts
Karing
Usually when people do hurtful things ... there certainly is a reason
Laurie
That is so true. When I learned to forgive I found I did start seeing things from someone else's point of view.
Bernice
honoring seems to be an inward heart attitude that we must have to all people. it is easy when people have earned that
- but harder when they haven't
Brandi
That's true
Karing
We do need to go back to that point where we once forgave ... and continue to forgive again and again.
Bernice
does God require us to honor all people?
cwt
good question here Bernice
Brandi
There is a difference between honoring and respecting I think
Bernice
what would you see as the difference?
cwt
God calls us to love all people, some we need to love by faith... I think that means honor too
Karing
Honoring may be more esteemed?
Brandi
Honor reminds me of knights
Karing
Is respect a way of showing honor?
Bernice
some we are commanded to honor, some deserve honor by position...God given.
joy
is there anyone there?
Bernice
are you having trouble Joy?
Bernice
Good point Karing. I think so
cwt
I wonder if joy is still there
cwt
, she may have logged on and left the room
Bernice
honor is the attitude - respect is the response maybe?
cwt
good point
Brandi
OHH, very good
Karing
That may well be
cwt
so respect is the action, honor is the mind attitude
Karing
Can you think of many people in your life that you honor and respect?
Bernice
Yes. I think so. We honor God in attitude, but respect is the action
cwt
interesting observations, thanks for adding these points'
cwt
great analogy
Karing
It is an interesting reflection... because typically we don't look at people like that.
Bernice
that is why our hearts must be in tune with God - ultimately the ability to honor comes from a heart right with him
Bernice
at least, that is what I've found
cwt
that sets the foundation, a right attitude with God and being led by the Holy Spirit
Karing
Sin would get in the way of having a heart of honor
Bernice
how would you see sin affecting our ability to honor?
Karing
When I knowingly have sin in my life ... it affects my attitudes and I become very inward focused.
Bernice
for me - it is pride. I can't say sorry. and I place higher value on myself than others.
Karing
When I become aware of that ... I need to confess my sin
Laurie
So we should confess all known sin and learn from our failures.
Brandi
The bible says to focus on what' s here and now, By focusing on the past I have sinned,
cwt
sin gets in the way of our relationship with God, so therefore our ability to live godly lives would be hindered, it is like
a culvert filled with garbage, the water can't flow freely through it
Karing
Those are great points
Laurie
He will forgive us when we repent.
Bernice
yes. Brandi. Good point. You have to let go of the past sometimes.
Karing
The one thing that can happen is that we can hold onto the fact that we have sinned ... and even though God forgives
us ... we can cradle that unforgiveness and become bitter
Bernice
That is actually a form of dishonor to God...don't you think?
joy
I'm getting more and more excited for our discussion:"where more than one is gathered..."
Brandi
Wow, I know so many bitter people
cwt
great point Brandi about focusing on the past,there are verses that Paul talks about forgetting the past and moving on
towards the goal in Christ Jesus
Karing
I do agree
Karing
Are you able to see the text now Joy?
joy
I never thought that internet Christian fellowship would be this good....
Brandi
Welcome back Joy.
Bernice
bitterness is one of the greatest hindrances to honor because it hurts our hearts and relationships so deeply.
Karing
Bitterness is an awful ugly thing
cwt
bitterness digs deep roots of destruction
Laurie
Bitterness makes a person stay in the problem instead of moving through.
cwt
it can come up so quickly on us too
Bernice
but so easy for us to choose bitterness rather than forgiveness and honor. I'm not sure why this is...
Karing
Great point Lauer!
Brandi
It's the easy thing to do
cwt
because we are human...
cwt
yes, seems to be
Karing
Our human natures love to get stuck.
Brandi
Sometimes I think people feel that way to get attention
Bernice
Good point Brandi.
Brandi
It's a topic of gossip..
Bernice
Can we get unstuck ...?
Laurie
Often people think if they forgive and move on then they are letting the other person off the hook. It really only keeps
us in the problem if we don't forgive.
Karing
Getting "unstuck" takes very deliberate actions on our part.
Brandi
Very true
Karing
We know we haven't truly forgiven if we are keeping an account of wrong-doings.
cwt
getting unstuck takes humbleness and admitting we were wrong
Bernice
so you are back to honor again
Laurie
So true.
Bernice
How much is honor a choice?
cwt
wow, what a great question to think on
Brandi
Every day.
cwt
I think it is always a choice
Karing
Some of it is ... but ... some of it comes as it is deserved. People earn honor with each other.
cwt
some people are easier to honor than others
Bernice
That's true
Karing
Honor is also built.
Laurie
Sometimes people have to re-earn our respect.
Bernice
what do we do with the people that are hard to honor?
cwt
yes, if they have lost our trust, I find it harder to honor them
Karing
Do we need to honor them ... or do we love them with God's love?
Bernice
say our parents or co-worker, like Brandi was saying earlier?
Bernice
Love is part of the package of honor I think
Brandi
I guess the difference is , is that Some people we have to honor or respect with love, other have truly earned it!
Karing
That may wellbe.
Bernice
good point Brandi
Brandi
I don't honor the lady at the grocery store nearly as much as my friends at church .
Karing
That is because as we build relationships .... respect grows with them.
Brandi
And I don't honor certain family members as much as others
cwt
I once was told, that the verse that says to honor our parents means that if we are living a God honoring life we are
then honoring our parents, it doesn't have to be a mushy thing if that is difficult.
Karing
I think that is ok too.
Karing
I totally agree cwt.
Karing
Respect and honor does not necessarily mean intimate
cwt
yes, great point, sometimes we think it needs to be
Bernice
yes. It doesn't necessarily mean we have to 'obey' them in everything.
cwt
true
Karing
I can have tremendous respect for someone in a leadership position without having a relationship.
Karing
That respect is also influencing for me.
cwt
How can we show honor to our kids?
Bernice
yes.
Karing
By respecting who they are ...
cwt
sometimes that is the hardest test...to show honor to those closest to us
Bernice
listening.
Brandi
By being the mother God wants me to be
cwt
good point karing
Karing
Isn't that the truth
cwt
listening, yes, spending time with them
Bernice
quality time as well as quantity...
cwt
yes, both are needed
Karing
Let's expand on that Brandi .... what kind of a mother does God want us to be
Karing
I think to set firm, loving boundaries .... with lots of love and affirmation.
cwt
good points'
Bernice
I find it 'hard' to be a mom sometimes. someone said that being a mom is like having your own little kingdom...
Laurie
Showing a Christlike example.
Brandi
The kind of mother that loves him
cwt
yes, that is true Laurie, our faith must be authentic
Karing
There really is a fine line when you set the boundaries too close - the kids then want out (rebellion) .... and when they
are too loose the kids don't feel safe.
Bernice
To find the balance between giving roots and giving wings is always a challenge
Karing
To honor my kids .... I also look to mentors and role models for examples as to what works in their lives.
Laurie
I think so many parents always try to be their children's friend and they are not really in charge.
Karing
I love that point Bernice
Bernice
That is where honor comes in I think
Bernice
Yes. Karing. Having your kids around people that you respect rubs off...
Laurie
Anything seems to go and there don't seem to be any boundaries.
cwt
yes, to attempt to be their friends can be a mistake
Karing
It takes work on the parents part to set up parameters where our kids can respect us.
Brandi
I also want my kids to honor eachother.
cwt
we need to be worthy of our kids respect and honor too
Bernice
Sometimes you have to "demand" a certain amount of respect though don't you think?
Karing
How we allow them to treat us can also communicate the right and wrong things.
cwt
now that is a test, to get the kids to honor one another, good point
Karing
Absolutely Bernice!
cwt
yes good point Bernice
Karing
It is reminding the kids ... that our family is a team .... and that we always support each other first.
Laurie
I find children honor one another best when there is a sense of family and togetherness.
cwt
yes, and are there for each other
Bernice
I find that my kids so often reflect my own attitudes. If I honor them, I get honor back...if I don't...HELP!
Brandi
I have to remind my son that his brother is the only friend he might have forever, besides Jesus of course
cwt
we set the example in many things, honor would work that way too
Karing
It's interesting .... my mother still plays that role of helping us as adult children to honor each other.
Brandi
I want to be that mother...
Bernice
I like that Brandi! Gotta try that one...! GRIN
cwt
me too
Brandi
Do you all have children?
cwt
yes, 16 and 20
Bernice
yes. I have 3 - 10, 8, 4
Karing
Ages 10, 7, 3
Laurie
Yes. 14, 11 and 9.
Brandi
I have 3 too, 1,4,6
Bernice
Wow! One housefull if we put our kids together. Wealth of parenting skills!
Karing
No kidding.
Brandi
We have kids at every age.
cwt
we sure would be....How does the Holy Spirit help us to honor others?
Brandi
Where's Joy?
cwt
joy is quiet...
Brandi
OK
Bernice
I think he helps us most by showing us our own hearts.
Brandi
As long as she's not stuck in cyberspace.
cwt
yes one role of the Holy Spirit is to convict us of sin
Karing
The Holy Spirit shows us when there is something to be made right.
Laurie
He sometimes communicates to us what others need.
cwt
when we need to take care of some sin in our lives
Brandi
I love the saying " Lord, save me from myself."
Bernice
When someone doesn't deserve honor, but we are commanded to honor, The H.S. must give strength to do so...
cwt
yes, good point Laurie, He nudges us to help others
Bernice
sometimes a push?
Karing
We really need to learn to listen when the Spirit communicates.
cwt
are you familiar with the concept of spiritual breathing?
Bernice
??
Brandi
??
cwt
this is such an important concept to live an abundant life
cwt
there is actually some further comments on this on the sidebar in the blue
Karing
Spiritual Breathing is a "life saving spiriual technique"
cwt
it means to empty ourselvs of sin
Karing
Exhale
Karing
Exhale is the process of getting rid of the bad (the confession of our sin)
cwt
and then to by faith inhale the Holy Spirit to redirect our lives
Bernice
Hm. I like that. Sort of keep in step with the spirit.
cwt
it is all by faith, just like how we accepted Christ into our hearts
Karing
Inhale is receiving the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to appropriate Himself within us.
Karing
Very deliberate action
cwt
exactly keeping in step with the spirit
Brandi
I know it is important to invite Jesus in,after commanding satan out.
Karing
We do not need to receive Christ again after we have
Bernice
How much do you think the enemy has to do with dishonor?
Brandi
Oh, everything!
Bernice
like?
cwt
once we have received Christ and walk in obedience with Him, we don't have to keep asking Him in, He is already
there
Brandi
If he can take honor out of our lives he can use ina ll kind s of ways.
Bernice
good point. He establishes a foothold that he can use against us in our relationships. Especially marriage & children
Brandi
I just meant that I ask Jesus to fill the hole left by satan.
Laurie
Satan provokes guilt and doubt.
Karing
If by accepting Jesus we bring him in the car and let him take over the driver seat. Then one day we think we can
drive better and we take over the wheel and give him the passenger seat. He is still in the car.
Karing
We confess our carnal ways of thinking we can drive better ... and put him back in the driver seat.
Bernice
Yes. Brandi. I hear you. Good point I think.
Karing
That is the process of a Holy Spirit directed life
cwt
when we walk in the spirit, using the concept of spiritual breathing, there is less room for the enemy to move in
Bernice
Yes. Yielded.
Karing
We have power over the enemy and can tell him to flee and that God is greater than he is.
Laurie
We always have to be careful, because Satan can work in very subtle ways.
cwt
I find that concentrating on emptying myself of sin, and keeping short accounts with God, and asking the Holy Spirit
to direct keeps me focused on God rather on the enemy
Bernice
It is like giving place to God in our daily/moment heart attitude in our relationships
Brandi
He's slimy!
Bernice
I think that is true cwt
Laurie
I have really felt the Holy Spirit guiding me this past week. God's truth is always more powerful than Satan's lies.
Bernice
Isn't that what honor is about - placing God at first place and utmost importance?
Karing
That is so true ...
cwt
that is so true, God's truth bring peace to our lives
Bernice
If he is first - then everything else kinda falls into place?
cwt
absolutely
cwt
that is the best place to be
Karing
Just before we leave the topic of the Holy Spirit ... I would encourage you to take a look at the link on the right hand
side of the chat room sometime - and read through the section on the Holy Spirit. Great diagrams
Bernice
Maybe that is why God places such emphasis on honor?
Karing
He does mention it quite a bit, doesn't He?
Karing
How can we practically show honor to someone today?
Bernice
somedays it seems so!!
Brandi
Morning nap is over Talk to you all soon!
Karing
Thanks for coming ... where are you from?
Bernice
Kay Brandi! Thanks for coming!!!
cwt
thanks for joining us brandi, see you next time, check the schedule below
Karing
Will you be back next week when we talk about Getting Along With Irritable People?
cwt
that will be a great session!
Karing
Tools we can all use from that session.
cwt
yes,
Karing
This has been a great time ... so glad you all came!
cwt
well this has been a fantastic time
Bernice
Seems honor might come into play there too eh?
Karing
I know it will help me today as I think about showing honor to people in my life.
cwt
for sure Bernice
Bernice
me too! Especially my kids...!
Karing
It is so easy to let a bad attitude creep in.
Bernice
especially if you are stressed...
cwt
yes, I am thinking about showing my family more out front honor
Bernice
Gary Smalley has some tremendous material out on honor. Very good.
cwt
yes, do you know that names of the books?
Bernice
Video series "Homes of Honor" Parenting/Relationships. Love is a Decision. The Blessing
Laurie
Is he the author of the "Love Languages"?
Bernice
The key to your child's heart
cwt
I have read The Blessing, it is great, also the video series is fantastic for growth/cell groups
Bernice
No. I think that is Gary Chapman.
cwt
yes, but that is good too
Bernice
yes. Very.
cwt
well we can close in prayer
Karing
"Lord, thank you so much for this time. I ask that You would direct us in honoring those around us. Give us your
eyes to see people the way you do. In Jesus Name
cwt
Lord we thank you for this time together today, thank you for each woman who came to join our discussion . Help
us to honor you first in everything we do, and to honor each other, in Jesus name, Amen
Bernice
Lord Jesus, help us to honor you first of all in our hearts - and then reflect that honor to those around us in all our
relationships. Amen.
Karing
Thanks for coming.... this has been a great time!
Laurie
This has been great. I must go now and pick my son up for lunch. God Bless!
............................ Laurie left.............
Bernice
It's fun!
............................ Karing left.............
............................ Karing joined.............
cwt
this has been a great time, thanks to all for joining us! See you next time, Wednesday daytime same time, or
Monday/Thursday evening * MST
Karing
We will see you all next week.
Karing
Thanks everybody and goodbye
............................ Karing left.............
Bernice
be there when I can...! Bye.
