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by by Linda Baumann“Don’t panic,” I told myself. “It has to be here somewhere.”
“It” was my wedding ring. In its 24-year history, I had never lost it even for a minute. Now it was gone and I had no explanation for its disappearance.
I was already in crises mode before the ring incident. It was the week before Christmas – my first Christmas as a widow. The pressures of last minute shopping, cooking, year-end business, and preparing for a cross-country trip fell on my shoulders alone. There was no room in my schedule for anything to go wrong.
Evidently the doctor didn’t understand my schedule. One of my year-end chores that morning was a routine physical, and the doctor found a lump. My head told me it was probably nothing as I calmly discussed the necessary testing with the doctor. But as I drove away, my emotions entered the debate and overtook any rational thinking. I did not like the idea of my children being orphans.
The rest of the day was a blur. I drove across town to bring my college-age daughter her purse and forgot the purse. The next stop was signing some papers at an office. As I signed, my eye fell on my ring, and I wondered how I could ever bring myself to take it off. I held on to the marriage it symbolized.
The evening was not a happy one
Each of my children seemed particularly burdened, and I dared not let them know of my own health concern. As I struggled to put dinner on the table, I noticed the ring was gone. My friend Margie came over to help me look, but found only dust balls under the furniture. She prayed that God would keep it safe, wherever it was. How cruel, I thought, for God to take away my ring on the day I needed my husband the most.
I had to keep doing what needed to be done. The tests were taken (the lump was nothing!), the car repaired, the special meals eaten, gifts opened, bags packed, and family transported to California. But there was still no ring
Kindness in disguise
Weeks later I was back in Minnesota and walking with Margie. “How are you doing with your ring?” she asked. “I think I’ve let go of it,” I replied. “If I never find it, it’s OK. And if I do, I don’t think I’ll put it back on. God knew I couldn’t take it off myself.” Two days later another praying friend called. Her daughter had overheard a boy in her class talking about a ring he had found before Christmas in the school parking lot. Could it possibly be mine?
It was my ring! Not knowing how to find the owner, the boy had taken it home and placed it on the nose of a decorative fish, and then forgot about it. So while my ring was safely taking a journey on a fish, my heart was taking a journey of letting go.
My precious ring now rests in a pretty box. It is a reminder of my lack of perspective and God’s ultimate goodness. How many of my losses do I misinterpret as being cruel, but when the full story is known, will I see them as God’s kindness in disguise?
Linda Baumann has been on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ for 23 years and writes about what God is teaching her as a new widow. She lives in Eden Prairie,Minnesota with her 3 children.
