Conquering Fear

by Val Tower

“God is love … There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear...” (1 John 4:16-18).

A number of years ago I heard an acronym for the word ‘fear’: False Evidence Appearing Real.  I chuckled when I heard that, thinking how accurate it was and how well that piece of information would have served me throughout my life. 

You see, I have experienced more fear than I care to remember and from earlier on than I can even ‘remember’. As a toddler I feared being left with anyone other than my parents. It was not as a result of being spoiled or traumatized – I just came that way.

As a child I accumulated fear: fear of the dark and fear of being alone. And as a teenager I added to that the fear of rejection, judgment and failure. I brought all these fears into adulthood – amassing even more ‘mature’ fears – you know, the less obvious, better hidden, inner fears of disappointment, change, betrayal, and at times even a fear of success.

Bound by fear

Fear filled my life and many times stopped me from experiencing new and exciting opportunities. It influenced the choices I made – to always be cautious, in control and conservative. I was held captive within the boundaries that I securely placed around myself - all in an effort to avoid facing my fears.

Throughout my life I never learned how to effectively face or deal with fear. The result was a stockpile of fear that manifested itself through worry, anxiety and insecurity.

In my Christian journey, God has brought me face to face with my fears, one by one, and has asked me at each point to trust Him, regardless of how major or minor that fear may be. Regardless of the outcome, regardless of whether it made sense to me or not, regardless of whether I wanted to or not, regardless ... I needed to perfectly trust Him with my fear.

But I realized in my humanity I couldn’t begin to trust Him – let alone perfectly trust Him – unless I believed in the very depth of my soul that He loved me unconditionally. As I began to grasp this truth in my heart – then and only then – did I feel confident that I could risk trusting Him with my deepest vulnerabilities and most intimate fears.

Cancer threatened my life

I was diagnosed with a very rare disease that resulted in slow growing malignant tumors manifesting themselves throughout various organs of my body.  I had undergone three surgeries to remove as much of the cancer as possible but when too many tumors were discovered in my liver, surgery was no longer an option. There were no radiation nor chemotherapy treatments as yet discovered that would have destroyed the cancer cells. I had to wait and undergo tests every few months to watch the progression of this disease.

About five years after the liver cancer was detected, I received a request to go to the experimental cancer ward of the University of Ann Arbor Hospital, in Michigan. They had a breakthrough and discovered a chemotherapy treatment that they believed might help me. But there were risks.  It was still considered experimental and I would only be the eighth person in the world to undergo this treatment.

Results were not conclusive, nor guaranteed. They did not know if my disease was too far gone for the treatment to help as they had determined that my projected life span would be no more than two years if the treatment didn’t work. The treatment itself terrified me. It consisted of them injecting an enormous amount of radioactive iodine into my bloodstream that would be absorbed into the tumor tissue and hopefully over time, destroy the tumor cells. 

The upside of the treatment was obvious – it could be my means of staying alive.  The downside was that as a result of the large radiation intake I would be considered ‘radioactively hot’ and would be retained in an isolated room for a three- to four-day period until my body’s radiation levels returned to normal. This meant no one could come into my room and nothing that came into my room could leave – including food trays, magazines, clothing …nothing.

No fear in perfect love

Yes – I was anxious, worried and afraid. And the list of ‘what if’s’ was huge. But as I prayed I told God just how fearful I was and asked Him to give me clear direction as to what I should do: take the risk with the treatment, or go home and live out my life for as many days as He would give me. The answer came one night while I was reading Psalm 56:3,4, “When I am afraid I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?”

That was over twenty years ago. The treatment did exceedingly more than the doctors ever dreamed possible. And more importantly, God did more than I ever dreamed was possible!

Together God and I over the years have faced many fears. We have faced cancer and chemotherapy, being alone and the dark, and decisions of employment. We have faced the loss of loved ones, not being able to have children – having children – and having to give back our children. But as I have thrown myself, unabashed into His loving waiting arms, He has been faithful to catch, deliver and free me from the fears that I have clung so tightly to. God’s perfect love has allowed me to perfectly trust Him, in all the seasons of life He has led me to, and through.

What about you? What fears and anxieties are holding you captive? God desires that we never stand back from Him in fear, but rather, that we get intensely close to Him – so close that we personally grasp His heart of love for us.

1 John 4:16-18 teaches that, “God is love … There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear,” and points to God as our only source of perfect love, hope for freedom and delivery from fear.  

As you lay your fears – one by one – at His feet, you will come to completely trust and believe that He has the power to cast them out of your life. You will be perfectly safe in, and only in, Christ’s open, loving arms. There you will find the strength to face the trials and heartaches of life. Only there, will you experience His confidence and peace that surpasses understanding. Only there will you discover His perfect love that will enable you to perfectly trust Him, so that you can face the fears of life.

Today, you can begin your journey towards freedom by praying, laying your worries at the feet of Christ who desires only the best for you, and asking Him to fill You with His Holy Spirit, Your Helper:

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I lay my worries at your feet in the assurance of Your perfect love for me, and Your power over the things which overwhelm me. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with Your Holy Spirit. Amen.

If you prayed this prayer, we would love to hear about it! We will e-mail you some information to help you grow, and respond personally to your questions. We look forward to your comments.




Related Readings:
Moving Beyond Fear
The Little Girl Who Feared Death

 

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