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by Gina SchreckThere I sat at my girlfriend’s 40th birthday party, amazed by the number of people who had come to help her celebrate. I leaned over and whispered to my husband, “If I had a party like this, who would come?” He started laughing. He said it was because of my serious expression and tone, but I think he was laughing at the thought of him and I sitting alone with party hats on in a giant banquet hall.
I have spent the past 20 years raising four children, nurturing a marriage relationship, discovering who I am, learning what my “gifts” are, starting a career, volunteering at school, church and wherever else I was asked. Who has time for friends? I surely didn’t.
Because I am very social and outgoing, I had many pseudo-friendships. You know, the kind that you hug when you see them on the street, or the friends you buy girl-scout cookies and wrapping paper from their kids’ fundraising projects. These pseudo-friendships are easy, because they are based only on convenience. There is no effort or burden associated with them. You also do not get much out of them in return. (Okay maybe fifty percent off your Pampered Chef order, because these pseudo-friends all ordered so much.)
The few friendships I had developed along the way soon shriveled up to mere acquaintances when I did not nurture the relationships. I was always joking with my husband and kids telling them that I wanted the Lucy and Ethel kind of friendships.
Lucy and Ethel friendships are those that you invest yourself in. They may not always be convenient, but they’re important. These are the friends you feel comfortable calling when you are down and need someone to pray with or cry with. These are the friends whose house you go to just to see the room they repainted with zebra stripes after watching Trading Spaces and then laugh hysterically because it looks so bad.
I have reached a point in my life where this kind of friendship is very important to me. My husband is my best friend here on earth, but I believe it is also very important for us to make the time to nurture deep friendships with other women.
I needed to develop some true friendships with women who could stretch me and affirm me as I moved into this next season of my life, so when we recently moved, I made a point of investing in some new (and a few existing) relationships. These friendships have developed into wonderful treasures. We have worked out together, painted walls together, studied God’s Word together, baked cookies together, laughed and cried together, but most importantly, we have encouraged one another and become each others' cheering section for stretching and growing.
In Hebrews 12:1, it tells us we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, and that because of this encouragement, we can throw off everything that hinders us. This verse is powerful! When you are feeling down and in need of encouragement, look up to heaven’s balcony; there are saints cheering for you and offering you encouragement.
When you feel that you can’t hear the heavenly cheers, you need to look to your earthly cheering section, because God uses your friends to encourage you and help you hear the cheers of saints.
Maybe it’s time for you to invest yourself and rekindle friendships of old, or begin new relationships. Maybe it’s time to tell those friends in your cheering section, “Thanks.” Do it today. Lucy is probably waiting just for you.
Gina Schreck is the “Cheerman of the Bored” and she helps people reconnect with what matters most! She is the author of several books, including Inside Out Success: Reconnecting with What Matters Most, and Marriage Mechanics: A Tune Up for the Highway of Love! She speaks to organizations that want to improve relationships from the inside out. Visit her website at www.schrecktalk.com
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