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Print My Life with MS
by Ambreen Akhtar
After graduating from high school, I worked in a clothing store and had plans to attend college. I felt that my life was full and I had everything I needed. I was heavily involved in the fashion industry through my position as the assistant manager and buyer at work, as well as in fashion advertising and marketing.
I was raised in a Christian home and although my grandfather was a pastor, I didn’t feel a need for God in my life. I believed in His existence, but simply didn’t care to know Him. He wasn’t a priority for me. As the years went by, I began to sense an emptiness in my life. Something was missing, though I didn’t know what it was.
I spent time with my grandfather who prayed and shared the Bible with me, though I never understood it at the time. Soon enough, I began attending church with my family and my interest in God gradually grew.
On November 3, 1993 I attended a conference where God became so real to me that I realized I did in fact need Him in my life. I felt sorry that that I had denied Jesus Christ all those years, but made the decision to trust Him with my life from that day onwards.
My faith and love for Christ grew so much that I mentioned to friends that I would never deny Him. A year later, I was struck by Multiple Sclerosis, also known as MS. It is a disease that affects the brain and spinal cord. Multiple means ‘many’ and sclerosis means ‘scar’, so multiple sclerosis means ‘many scars’. When a person has MS, a covering called the myelin that protects the nerves in the brain and spinal cord is affected so that messages being sent and received from the brain are not always transmitted.
An Unpredictable Disease
People with MS begin to notice they are having trouble doing certain tasks. Not all people have the same symptoms. Symptoms can even vary within one person over time. For example, my symptoms have ranged from blindness, fatigue, dizziness, tremors and numbness. I also experience imbalance when I walk. Speaking sometimes becomes difficult as well. Symptoms can come and go suddenly, and can be mild or severe. There may be times when MS seems to get better and the symptoms practically disappear. It can last a few weeks or even years, but it can come back at any time. It is a very unpredictable disease.
There were so many emotions that I had to deal with when I was first diagnosed with MS. There was fear, sadness and a lot of anger. It was Jesus Christ who helped me cope with all of these emotions. My greatest fear was being in a wheelchair, and I was sad because I was suddenly weak and unable to do certain things. I had memories of how life used to be and that made me feel sad about the things that were happening. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t understand why all these things were happening to me. I wanted MS to disappear but it wouldn’t.
Doctors say that a person with MS should go ahead with a normal life, working around the problems. But how does one do that? Although there is no cure for MS, many symptoms can be helped by medicine and by other treatments. I would like to share what has helped me deal with some of my symptoms. Because MS is so variable with every individual case, what has helped me may not necessarily work for another person. In terms of medication for MS, it is best to see a neurologist and decide together what would work for your situation and symptoms.
A Faithful God
Being a believer in Jesus Christ, the first thing that helped me was prayer and meditation. In dealing with my emotions of fear, sadness, anger and confusion, I went to the Bible and came across Jesus’ words in this verse (Matthew 11:28): “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I began to pray and ask the Lord how I could find rest for my fears. Later I read another couple of verses found in 1 John 5:14,15. “This is the confidence that we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have what we asked of Him.”
After a year of meditation on those two verses, I received the rest and peace that comes only from Jesus Christ. The confidence that He gave me concerning my physical condition was that I could continue to ask for complete healing. Over the years I am slowly receiving just that.
I feel that His Holy Spirit, who speaks to me daily, has guided me as to what treatments to take in order to manage my symptoms. I had tried many treatments without consulting God in prayer and none of them worked for me. These were treatments I tried to do by myself, based on my own will and effort. I was doing what I wanted to do, instead of listening to God. But once I began to listen to what God was saying I realized that He would let the treatments work according to His will. So I began daily devotions, prayer and meditations to Jesus Christ, realizing that He alone is the only cure for MS. I know that I have found true satisfaction and fulfillment by knowing Him and trusting Him with my life.
I have never given up faith that God would enable me to make something out of my life despite my limitations. I am involved with my church and am leaving myself open to serving God. Jesus said, “I will never leave you or forsake you,” and He has been true to His promise. MS is not an easy road, but I know that I am not alone as Jesus makes up for all that I have lost.
How about you? Are you suffering from a chronic illness that is robbing you of peace and joy in life? The demands can be overwhelming. What is the answer? Where does peace come from?
You can have peace and fulfillment by being filled with the Holy Spirit. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. The first step is to make sure that Christ is really in the driver's seat in your life and that you are allowing His Spirit to fill you and empower you. Pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit:
Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.
