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by by Rhonda RheaAny other women having trouble buying for men? The last gift-giving occasion, I asked for a list from my husband. I had a tough time reading it. I kept dozing off. I’d share it with you, but I’d run the risk of snoozing through my own column. I’ll tell you, though, that the highlight was a paper shredder. I’ll provide the list if you’re a desperate insomniac. I can help you.
I thought about giving my husband a barbecue grill. Sounds good, right? An excuse to have him do the cooking! But don’t expect to have a relaxing evening as he hooks up to the gas line. Men see the imminent danger and get a rush.Women wait by the phone with “9” and “1” pre-dialed. The distinct possibility of living for months with a man who has no eyebrows somehow takes the fun out of the promise of barbecue. No - no grill.
How about tickets to the sporting event du jour? Yeah, that sounds good. But before you rush out to purchase tickets, remember that you might be expected to actually attend the event. Picture watching some team go back and forth until some loud person behind you spills beer on your shoes. I try to have quality conversation with my husband through it all, but I’m amazed when he shows absolutely no interest in the bad accessory choices made by the lady three rows down. “White shoes in this season? And with a brown purse? Please!” For some reason, he rarely appreciates those gross atrocities, so I’m always willing to be a sport and try a new topic: “Why do you suppose they didn’t color coordinate the seats and the walls?”Can you believe my husband would rather watch some game than explore all those possibilities? Nope, not sports, thank you.
A tool is always a good gift choice.Even better, a ladder. But if you give him a tool, he’ll try to fix something. If you give him a ladder, he’ll want to climb it. “9-1-...” sound familiar? I’d like to get him something that wouldn’t come with the wifely warning, “Be careful, that’ll put your eye out.”
Gift-giving for men has been a problem since the beginning.Eve obviously didn’t get it. She gave Adam used fruit.We know where that led.
The good news is that whatever I give my husband, he is always gracious and appreciative - even if it’s yet another bottle of aftershave. I don’t have to earn his love with gifts.What a relief!
The rest of the good news is that despite Eve’s gift and the fall, I still don’t have to earn God’s love, either.The Bible says that God loved me long before I was lovable. Me - a sinner - yet Christ died for me! The Bible also tells us that the gift of God is eternal life through Christ.Now there’s a gift!
As for my poor husband, looks like it’s another tie. Next time I might find something he likes just as well - like a gift certificate for gum surgery or a free upper GI.
Rhonda Rhea writes award-winning inspirational humor columns for other Christian publications in the U.S. and Canada. Look for her new book, Amusing Grace, at your local Christian bookstore. Click here to see her web site.
