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by Zhong WangI grew up in a communist culture and was instilled with communist utopian ideas. As I grew older I found that the world is permeated with evil and unjust people. I struggled in my thinking. Why did leaders advocate high moral ideals when they could not live up to their own standards? Studying under these leaders merely gave me the ability to tell right from wrong superficially. Examining myself, I felt shameful for my own corrupt thoughts and deeds. I was convinced that the world is full of hypocrisy.
Was every human being born with an evil heart?
I used to believe in a saying by a renowned ancient philosopher, “Every human being was born with an evil heart.” Since we were born with evil hearts, we will never be able to live up to a high moral standard no matter how hard we try. Later, I realized there is something wrong with that argument. If that statement was true and everyone continued on his path of evil-doing, wouldn’t this world crumble into dust sooner or later?
In my college years, I read a number of books on Buddhism and various philosophies. However it seemed that their teachings had no real significance in my life. As a result, I decided all I needed to do was mind my own business and refrain from evil doings. I came to the conclusion that this world is meaningless because everything in the world is utterly meaningless. Life goes on forever.
Christianity didn’t seem to be the answer either
I considered Christianity an unrespectable religion based on what it had been portrayed in movies and books. I thought that the clergymen and priests were either foreign spies or human traffickers who came to abduct Chinese children. I had been taught that Christianity was a tool used by western imperialism. Now I know that none of this is true.
Later, I tried reading the Bible. I read the Book of Genesis and other books in the Old Testament and thought that the events described were terrible. If there is one God, I thought that he must be a ruthless dictator. He seemed to kill people at will. Why would people believe in such a God? Understanding the ten commandments is pretty easy, but what I didn’t understand was why anyone would want to follow them. Why should I want to love my enemy? It was so inconsistent with what I had been brought up with.
I had many prejudices against God and the church.
What got my attention was a trip to Mount Lu Shan just prior to leaving for the US . During my tour on Mount Lu Shan, I came to a chapel. I did not know whether that was a Catholic or a Protestant chapel but I had a strong desire to go inside. I had never wanted to go anywhere near the Christian faith before.
Although I was heavily biased about God and the church, I went inside the chapel anyway. Just as I entered the chapel, the pastor was preaching a sermon on loving your enemy. Jesus Christ teaches in Matthew 5:39, “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” This was precisely the verse that baffled me the most. I could not recall what the pastor preached in detail, but I remembered one thing very clearly. The pastor said, “Why is this verse so hard to understand? Because this is not man’s teaching. It is God’s teaching.”
Immediately, I understood. How brilliant this God is! Can man come up with such a teaching? The five-thousand-year-long Chinese civilization all boils down to one man’s ideas. Western civilization is similar and already, it has gone through two world wars. It is impossible for humans to produce a teaching of loving your enemies.
I did not covert to Christianity that day, but it was the beginning of a change
After I came to the US, my friends invited me to the church. At first I went reluctantly. After a while, I befriended by many people. The more I talked to them and pondered over the Christian faith, the deeper I understood the teachings of the Bible. I made a decision to ask God to take control of my life. I knew that Jesus died for us on the cross to redeem my sins. If I could be forgiven for not living up to a high moral standard perfectly, then maybe the world wasn’t meaningless after all.
After becoming a Christian I still had a lot of questions. Often I did not understand why God did not fulfill my prayers the way I wanted. Fortunately, God is gracious. In spite of the many mistakes I made He still gave me the opportunities to know Him. I tried many ways to change myself but tended to give up halfway through. God loves me and is patient with me. He does not reprimand me for my weaknesses. He wants to deliver me from my sense of guilt and aggravation.
What would your life look like if you could start over with a clean slate?
If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not as concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here's a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.
Is this the life for you?
If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you'll experience life to the fullest.
