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Mary Whelchel explains how many women's roles have changed and how they are coping with this change.
Mary Whelchel doesn't know Christian working women as well as Christ does, but she understands their unique plight is explained in a title that is long for a reason.
They are Christian. They are working. They are women. Each element has its own set of trials, rewards, challenges, and perhaps even unattainable goals. But Whelchel, an author and radio host who counsels the Christian working woman, also understand there is a biblical precedent for the woman whose three-pronged itinerary is too long and whose day is too short.
Ever since Christ walked the earth, there has been a Christian working woman. We learn of one of the earliest examples in the tenth chapter of Luke, in which a lady named Martha hurriedly prepares a meal for her Lord and complains that her sister, Mary, isn't much help.
Despite Jesus' gentle yet lasting rebuke to Martha, the dilemma of women like her persists today. Too often, the brightest light in many women's lives is the candle they are burning on both ends. Whelchel likes to remind those Christian working women that the same Jesus who calmed Martha in the tiny town of Bethany is the same Jesus who can calm you in your all-too-gigantic world.
"It's very difficult to find the right balance between the job, the home, church, and all the other hats she wants to wear or does wear." Whelchel says in an interview with In Touch. "Whether you are married or single, whether you have children, or whether you're a single mom, it still seems to be a common thread – trying to be Superwoman and discovering you can't, and getting used to the fact that you have to disappoint people and you can't have it all at one time. And you can't jump through everybody's hoops. There is no way.
"All those lessons come hard, especially, I think, for women, because we are nurturers by nature and fixers by nature and pleasers by nature as a rule. So it's hard for us to accept that we can't do everything we'd like to do."
Whelchel lends an emphatic ear on her national radio program, The Christian Working Woman, on some four hundred radio stations. Her sixth book, How To Thrive from 9 to 5, explains how women can do more than just survive on the job – or at home, since for many women the workplace represents a break.
Relying upon scriptural principles and first-hand knowledge of their double-edged dilemma, Whelchel likes to symbolically put an arm around her struggling peers. She understands a predicament in which some women feel they know more about commuting than communicating with their families, or they know more about the lives of their co-worker's kids than their own, or they know their workstations are orderly more often than are their dens.
And on top of all of that, they get to look forward to a weekend of cleaning house and washing laundry. Sometimes the only rhythm in their lives seems to resound from the humming drum of a washing machine. Indeed, many feel their lives are hum-drum.
Rely upon God and His Word for guidance. This requires spending time with your heavenly Father to talk to Him and see what He has to say to you. Whelchel recommends making this a morning habit, because the morning, she believes, is when your day is won or lost.
"Matthew 6:33.... you can't beat it,' Whelchel says. "When you ‘seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,' that still has to be our top priority, and then everything else will take its proper place. Because we are going to God on a daily basis and saying, ‘For this day, what are Your priorities?'
"This is what I think a lot of us miss: We think of God's will as some long-term, which of course, it is. But you have to live it out daily," she says. "You have to go to the Lord each day and say, ‘Here is my schedule today. What is on this list that you don't want on it? What am I leaving off of this list that you want on it? Where am I misplacing my priorities?'"
Quit trying to do everything. After you have prayed over and arranged your list of priorities, stick to the plan. Don't suddenly get so disgusted with the murky windows that you dash home after a late meeting and get out the soap and water after you get dinner started. That's a blouse you're wearing. Not a super hero's cape.
"It doesn't mean we won't be tired. It doesn't mean we won't be weary. Jesus was often tired and weary from doing the Father's work, but He also know when to pull apart and come aside and bring His men and have time to rest and times of restoration, and He also know how to say no," Whelchel says. "People would say, ‘Come, we've got a whole town waiting for you to preach.' And He'd say, ‘No I'm going to go to another town.' One guy said, ‘Judge, arbitrate this argument between my brother and me.' And he said, ‘No, that's not my job' So Jesus didn't try to be all things to all people, and He disappointed people.
"It was a great relief to me the day I finally understood that you don't set out to disappoint people but in doing the Father's will you will disappoint people," Whelchel says. "You have to just understand that and say, "as long as I'm pleasing the Father, then I can't worry too much about what people think."
Whatever tasks you feel led to perform, attempt to perform them well. Just don't insist on perfection. Even when sometimes it seems your husband or boss demands you to be error-free, Christ knows it is not possible.
"I know women who spend so much of their time and energy trying to keep their homes absolutely perfect. To them, in their minds, that's the mark of a successful woman. But you can't find that in Scripture." Whelchel says. Maybe you learn to let go of some of that stuff and sya, ‘Perfectionism is going to kill me here.' A little dust on the furniture doesn't really affect anybody's life that much.
"It's a challenge. Believe me, I don't have it down pat. I just know that when I try to do too much, then everything starts to suffer in my life: my walk with the Lord, my relationships with people, my productivity, my effectiveness for the Lord. I feel put upon. I get angry," Whelchel says. "And then I stop and say, ‘Who's making you do all this? You're the one trying to be Superwoman. So back off!'"
The Christian working woman settles into a more workable routine if each day has as its foundation a quiet time with the Lord. These moments will accumulate in value over time. Then, when the monumental decisions arise. – should I switch jobs; should I work or be at home with my child? – she will know biblical principles to implement as parameters for the choices to make.
Another challenge for the Christian working woman is how to effectively witness on the job. Many women work in male-dominant businesses or in environments that are clearly anti Christian. Speaking out for Christ can be an imposing proposition, but Whelchel recommends using Jesus as your Model.
When He approached the woman at the well (John 4), he didn't say, "Repent and believe in Me or you're going to hell." Instead, he developed a rapport, ("Give Me a drink" v.7); He made statements that piqued her curiosity ("Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst" v.14); and then He shared with her the truth ("I who speak to you am He" v. 26)
Whelchel also recommends giving witness on your job is to do your job as well as you can do it," Whelchel says. "I think Christians should have reputations that they do 110 percent. They extra-mile it. They give an employer what they promise to give. They don't steal time from that employer. They don't gripe and complain about the employer. That's so different from everybody else that it in itself is a loud witness.
"Go into work every day with a joyful attitude. I keep praying, "Lord, help me to overflow with thankfulness,' as Paul put it. Because if I go into every day with a thankful heart, focussing on all that's good for me, that God has done for me, that life is so good, then I'm going to be a positive person. I'm going to be a positive person. I'm going to overflow with that thankfulness, and obviously that's going to be a witness to the people around me."
Jesus noticed how people acted, what they said. He knew that words and deeds revealed the content of their hearts. Remember Martha and Mary of Bethany?
Martha busied about her kitchen, preparing supper for her important Guest, trying so diligently to impress. Meanwhile, at the feet of Jesus, Martha's sister, Mary, humbly and quietly listened to her Lord, it was a precious example to the harried Christian working woman then and now.
And Jesus takes note in Luke 10:41-42: "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
